Maid Service

One of the quickest ways to recognize someone who has never really cleaned something is to send them for cleaning supplies. I sent Mr. Morgan to Walmart for bleach, a mop and a broom. Quite straight forward and detailed. I noted NOT a straw broom, a GOOD mop, and.... bleach. I was not trying to trap him in a riddle.

He comes home with this shit:

Now, those of us who DO clean find this to be a cheap insult. Did he break into the janotor's closet at a local school for this? Where is the wringing bucket? Look at the yuck beneath my stove, does that mop look remotely competent to navigate under there?

Bleach. Is that what the furry pets on the label told it was? Our pets haven't "stained" for a long time. This shit is fucking useless, and it's label looks like it was used and returned.

All this turned into me being ungrateful and that Walmart had only one version of mop, and one version of broom. Really?

Am I supposed to ride that straw piece of shit on Halloween or return it all to Cinderella?

"Fine, I'll show you how to use it since it's so bad."
"Good luck."
"DM EVERYONE uses these."
"Nooooo, everyone uses fucking SWIFFER! Which I specifically asked for!"

I'm not using the shit. The broom is a fine outdoor broom. Indoors it's a joke. The mop .... jesus, I have to wring this thing every ten second and clog the drains? Who knew the fun I was missing out on. So ingrate I may be, but he can add obstinate ingrate to it because those items are lame and prehistoric.

He had to have the last word and mumble that he guessed I wanted a push broom. Good lord man, stop being so nut hurt. Ladies, you know what a normal kitchen broom should resemble, that isn't it.

- DM