Score one for the team!

As mentioned, the Haribro Gold Bears were on my food shit list for being little rocks of joy for my dentist to profit from. I wrote and proclaimed they were OLD bears, not GOLD bears by any stretch of my ability to exercise my imagination. I told them I'd tried to do so, and had tried hard.

The first response was something along the lines of "Stale and hard? That's pretty weird."

I think he used the word "uncommon" which is in my opinion not a far leap from weird, so that is how I read it. The second letter after (see below for synopsis) said it was too hot and they would melt. Awesome! Soften them up! Weeks go by and having just finished bitching at Starkist, they were next to get a letter. Third letters are never going to end with a thank you. No, by letter three I feel like a bill collector who knows they are being dodged and I'm ready to start threatening to own the company and fire every last gummy bear representative. "But, but I have kids to feed!" Then you better fill your bag with those fucked up asshole bear bags on your way out and make them last! All that dictator sort of debauchery.

But they came. And two packs worth just to make extra sure I was going to accept the additional gesture and shut the fuck up. That indeed, has shut me the fuck up. Wasn't hard to vindicate my lame ass unhappiness over their product. Twice what I asked for in ACTUAL product form and not a voucher? Thumbs up Haribo, the equivelent of hush money, but these were hush bears!

Here is the laughable part. These bears were just as fucked.

"I think they are just a more hearty bear." says Mr. Morgan, chewing gumfully.
"Who ever heard of a hearty gummy bear?"
"Well, apparently..... them." /shrugs and digs for a green, his favorite.
"Now I kinda feel like a crotch, I didn't consider that consistency was intentional."
"You are a crotch."
"Then stop eating my guilt bears."
"Can't one would be lonely in my stomach without a companion."/takes off with a whole bag.

Moral my friends..... write your letters, stuff will come. And lol BLD on your comment about the tuna, no shit they probably don't know what the fuck to sort of it, OR there are so many bones being mailed in that there is a backlog.

- DM