And the beat goes on.......

We still haven't remotely finished our shopping. Since when is everyone obligated to buy everyone else a gift? I don't expect presents just because I married into Mr. Morgan's family. This craze seems to get worse every year as the list grows longer. Fuck man, even Santa gets to pick between naughty and nice but noooooo our people get a reward even if they were fuckheads in need of beatings.

I think perhaps everyone should cut their interactions with people to one dozen. Twelve presents is reasonable. Anyone who didn't make the dozen cut, bummer for you. Not just with gifts either... altogether. Each person is only allowed to know 12 people. Less phone calls, less shit to forget.......because really, when you know as many people as most of us do, people fall through the cracks inadvertantly and you feel like an asshole when told "yeah so.... I missed you at my birthday party 4 months ago" followed by the piercing stare of -you don't love me enough to remember!-

It's not a bad theory. The 12 can change. It's reasonable to trade up a person here and there. Ya know, send a little card saying sorry... you've been bumped, Bob gives better head. Or something like that.

My idea would simplify things immensely and even alleviate the guilt. You pull a little card from your pocket as a hopeful stares at you in the "why didn't you get me a present" anticipation"

"... hm... no I'm afraid not, you didn't make the list this year. Good luck next year though!"

What bliss.

Meanwhile.... Mr. Morgan remains OUT OF FUCKING CONTROL. He got the Wii. Get then got the Xbox 360. Last night in a thundering sound I know well to mean he's exhausted another work out machine, the rowing device died. This actually offended him. He's out buying another one as we speak. Merry Christmas to HIM! Fucks sake.........

-DM