Riches Await!

Anyone ever use those cash for gold promos where they send you an easy-breezy envelope while, in the commercial, happy people with piles of practically forgotten precious metals make their fortune with no effort?

My favorite is “I do, now I don’t”

Rock.  I don’t know why that makes me laugh other than the vivid imagery that pops into my imagination on hearing it, and probably because I used the old school version of cash for gold – the corner hawk shop – when I retracted my first “I do”  Even then, I have to say it’s wasn’t a complete DO from the get go, it was a silly “I guess” at best.  It’s fair to say a good number of young people ‘guess’ at their first shot at being adult. 

Some months, my ex-guess asked where my ring was.  I don’t know if he was hinting that he wanted it back, as knowing what motivates the mind of a broken human is often tricky.  I told him it was on the corner of Main Street and Washington.

“You pawned your wedding ring?”

“No, no.” I shook my head “I sold it.

He was genuinely shocked, reasoning unknown again, but I suspect he thought I got a tidy sum for a barely 10k band with diamond specks.  I asked if he wanted the 25 bucks I got for it.

Now that’s it has been many, thankful, many years since all that I know more about gold, and can see it’s price every day in the newspaper if I chose to, I don’t suppose I understand how anyone could be shocked at the value of their shit.  Maybe I’m just jealous of those people and their piles. 

-DM

Gonna yell, gonna scream.

At a post holiday event I asked my brother in law (I have 3 in varying forms, one that I could do without and for the most part do) what we were all about next.  He and I have had like-minded discussions about politics and state of affairs plenty in the past, so when I asked "we," it implied "the people like us."  The said something along the lines of -being all about occupy-

I'm not blind or deaf to the splashes of news and outcry snippets but I truthfully don't know the details.  To say I know that people are fed up and protesting would be understating what I do know, it's more than that... but exactly what it's about I don't know.

Right so, this is for him, until we've had a chance to discuss it at length.  I was extremely hard pressed to find anything on youtube shorter than 13 minutes.  The average occupy ranter's tirade lasts between 8 and 11 long winded, passionately shouted minutes to invoke chanting.  That said, I have really no clue why the below video is happening but I would be alarmed if swat teams were forming up in my city.  Maybe it sounds naive, but martial law looking events aren't something normal to me, in America.  If something looks wrong and you don't even know what it is.. well, looks like a duck, walks like a ?  Could be.



-DM

Have I become one of THEM?

Ever been in traffic, normal navigation sort of thing and it couldn't be more obvious that every single piece of lolly-gagging operator fuck is out in front of you in some collective plot to jerk off your day when you realize that it's not possible that everyone is a cocksucker, but in fact you.... yes you are the cocksucker jumpy on the pedal with a mouthful of surprise obscenities both verbal and for the hearing impaired combined?  

I tamed the inner angry but there was no saving face. /looks up remotely, more or less indifferent that I may have, by way of personalized license plates, made a few enemies who will scowl next time they see it and cut me short for punishment.



For Saff.
You just shouldn't bard.  Your conscience is too high and good to not completely whore out all the bard you could be.  As one who fully turned a tune or two sneakishly, every so often you made me feel a little like a hand in a cookie jar by way of giving me something for no damn reason.  

I think you gave me a dog that I named Jhett then forgot for a week.  Once a week had past I felt bad that Jhett was likely starving so I didn't go back to my house at all, avoidance in the most lame of all video game avoidance.  So lol, alas when I never wanted to travel.. it's because I left something there that was going to bum me out and I just wouldnt say so.  Forever in trouble and compare me to the bum who knows he's wanted in the town over yonder.  I could be your doppleganger Saff, very well could be.


I wanted to dedicate Leather, because of the tone range that I know you can nail, not because of the naughty lyrics.  Instead, this will do as it's equally ticklesome to the earbone.



  - DM

Fashionably Late

What does that mean anyway? 'Fashionably late' Does being late in any manner make you less of a self-absorbed asshole? I'm not sure it does.


With that in mind, I know not if I'm early or asshole late in making dedications. Usual cast of characters likely, not sure, but I know this song has been sitting in the forefront of my mind for a while.


For Prada.
Author-ess? under yet another name in oh-so-naughty erotica, Rhianna says it best with "I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it."


You amuse and always surprise me Prada.



-DM

A Haunting We Will Go...

Finally!  My pumpkin harvest is complete, my cornstalks dried, this house is ready!  Most of my setting up (the moving and expensive props) don't go out until tomorrow but the ground work is done even down to having two candy bowls - one for the begging participants, and one for the hosts who withhold the really good candy until the cheaper fare dwindles.  Anyone with a separate bowl is bullshitting that they don't eat the candy, it's just for the kids.  

As mentioned, this year the dogs demanded to be pirates.  Sure, I like pirates too.  Come time for fittings, Simon showed up.  Early.  He'll sit in anything all day patiently waiting for reward.  Costumes and hats always = big payoff to my Simple Simon.  Kylee.... much more of a fidget.  She tries not to be a diva but every now and then she simply "won't stand for this grueling schedule."  She still doesn't fully understand that I'm not going to give up and it's going to be a scene if she won't play along.  Kylee also made a last ditch effort to change costumes and go as Batman! because her Dad is playing the new Archam City game and says often "It's bat time!"  That dog loves her a new fad.

Edmond, you remember Edmond!!  Took a chop to the neck over the year.  I don't remember how, it was just like that one day so I converted him.  The pumpkin is attached so the head moves just like Ed's, and a candle lights up both the Jack and the Hollow Ed. 

So here is my video for this year.  There is a hidden opinion, potentially political, if you know what it is, I'd like to hear about it. Happy Halloween!



-DM

Roll with it.

We know I drive the Metro.  On purpose.  My love for the Metro is so unbounded that when my last Metro was assaulted and made a victim, I bought another within a month. 


Most people do not drive a Metro on purpose.  It's usually because it's economical and is built to drive it's little heart out, mile after mile without fucking with you unreasonably.  In exchange for being hard driven and engineered to do a lot in a "limited spacial environment" (PC term instead of just saying what it is - a miniature donkey), the Metro in all it's use of mentioned limited-spacial-environment is forced to cut corners on the extras.



Now, when you think extras... you might picture power windows, power steering, maybe a little anti-lock brake action but naw, 'dem ain't featurs'!  Those are laughed off the table, we won't consider those anything except folly. 


Metro has two ways of being.  It's on, or it's off.  It does not glide nor coast, it wants for you to lovingly know you're in there.  Nothing gadgets by voice and no little motors run to address the comfort portion of the ride.  This said, when the Metro does act a fool, as mine is doing this month, it's not pissing around.  Metro doesn't whisper soothing reassurance that something might need to be checked when it's convenient, and the Metro could give a shit if your tires are a little low.  You won't be hearing my car nag you into fastening your seat belt (but you will hear me and that's possibly just as bad), and finally, the Metro - revert to the first line of this paragraph - has one purpose, being in either the sate of focusing on moving or nothing at all.


Not to say a Metro doesn't limp, it's simply not a lingering limp. Not like the last leg of a marathon, those runners have a steady-built slow limp-wobble to them.  Metro is more of a gunshot limp.  Everything is fine, then not so fine and lastly... "Fool I said hurry!" kaboom.  These cars are not infallible.  I went..... 6 years - two different Metros - with no major repair work.  It seems the Auto Gods have realized they missed the memo on this car and have to make up for lost time.  Two months ago it had a shitty serpentine belt.  You know these cars as the ones that howl past you, their driver ashamed at the absolute screech of their pissed off car spinning a ruined belt.  They usually taper off though don't they?  Usually when the driver slams the gas petal really hard?  Heh, yes that's why the jumpy-to-start behavior is often seen paired with that noise.  The belt corrects itself faster that way, but only after getting considerably louder too.  And it's terrible for the already dying belt but that noise will make you do irrational shit.  So, new belt.  Bam.  Happy Metro.


Then last week, Metro got a new headlight. I don't drive at night so that was ok, but it does have daytime running lights, making the car a one headed beacon.  It was making me nutty and Metro got a headlight.  Happy Metro.


Today, drunk on auto-part lust, Metro flashed angry, displaying "Service Engine Soon."


When I reported this in somewhat of a panic, I was patted on my head,  These people don't know the Metro laws of limping.  Car down, and fast.  Now that you know and understand me and my relationship with those laws can see why I didn't like my head patted.


"That's just your car saying to get around to it sooner than later."  was said to me.


I immediately disagreed, explaining how small the interior is, thus restricted features blah blah, and that for all I know there isn't both a "whenever" light AND a Check Engine" flasher.  Seems to me that IS the warning note.  No warning light for a worse warning light, but since I wasn't positive ...cocksucking Metro won.  Got parts.  Happy Metro.


Well maybe, I have a shiny new air filter for her that isn't flopped in but is sitting impatiently.  

//UPDATE!  Filter installed.  Mr. Morgan borderline disgusted at the incredibly cramped engine area.  Said he feels like he has giant hands..  //

Happy Hallow below.....



-DM

100% Real.

I thought I might have to gather strength from a very empty bucket of imagination to drum up today's hallow-post, when damn if I didn't search you-tube for "scary scenes" and have this write it for me:

I almost have no words.  Mostly questions.  Hopefully the same kind of questions as everyone else or I'm the only one wondering why Pennywise from IT would make the scariest scenes list?  .......



Top... something or other scary movie scenes above.  Remember some of these?  Don't forget to tip the skeleton above, who seems to be playing with his own worm if I had to guess.

.- DM

/adds freaky-candy-cock-worms and anything with the word "ribbed" to Run From list.