Jingle Bell Rock
Alas, holidays. We have mostly fixed the monetary problem, but lingerings exist to be handled.
I’ve done all of the shopping I am willing to do, short of the children pack, who will outgrow anything fast – including toys, so they will be walmart-ed. No offense, but after being ripped off, your child will not be receiving a gift from fucking Macy’s. Nor should they. Saffy, for instance has a Lemon who wanted to be some sort of Star Wars thing for Halloween, then mermaid then god knows what after a great deal of expense….. I don’t have time to keep up with the whims of children, and I’m far too stressed to try. So, slack me, as Mr. Morgan is doing zilch to help with any purchases, as is normal, the children will get shit and sack their presents out like camels hunkered down with the loot of the decade.
I ask him things like “what does –insert any name- like?” He replies he doesn’t know. As I didn’t grow up in his house, I have no recourse short of a bowl of nuts. How am I supposed to shop? He fucking knows, and is being lazy.
I know I bought silly shit, but I liked it, so suck it proper and smile as you should when opening. My theme this year was SMALL. Do we really need more shit in our houses? None of us do, so this whole thing is an adventure of why? The guilt of purchases, how many per person, and will that person think we went cheap!
Giraffes don’t count…. Bigger the better.
Disclaimer. I didn’t go cheap, but I admit to frugal. Normally, I am a cheap AND frugal bitch, I don’t like to part with my money. Call me on it and I won’t blink to say you are right, but I do however, have taste. If I can get a gift two dollars cheaper, watch me hop to punch in my coupon. On the other hand I do put thought into my gifts, since Mr. Morgan would likely wrap raw bacon and be proud to present it. His concept of cash is like the Leprechaun from Lucky Charms… it’s magically appears. Bless his simple heart.
For the weekend …. I wish you all no holiday stress…. Wrap up the bacon, I seriously would if people knew how to take a joke.
-DM
I’ve done all of the shopping I am willing to do, short of the children pack, who will outgrow anything fast – including toys, so they will be walmart-ed. No offense, but after being ripped off, your child will not be receiving a gift from fucking Macy’s. Nor should they. Saffy, for instance has a Lemon who wanted to be some sort of Star Wars thing for Halloween, then mermaid then god knows what after a great deal of expense….. I don’t have time to keep up with the whims of children, and I’m far too stressed to try. So, slack me, as Mr. Morgan is doing zilch to help with any purchases, as is normal, the children will get shit and sack their presents out like camels hunkered down with the loot of the decade.
I ask him things like “what does –insert any name- like?” He replies he doesn’t know. As I didn’t grow up in his house, I have no recourse short of a bowl of nuts. How am I supposed to shop? He fucking knows, and is being lazy.
I know I bought silly shit, but I liked it, so suck it proper and smile as you should when opening. My theme this year was SMALL. Do we really need more shit in our houses? None of us do, so this whole thing is an adventure of why? The guilt of purchases, how many per person, and will that person think we went cheap!
Giraffes don’t count…. Bigger the better.
Disclaimer. I didn’t go cheap, but I admit to frugal. Normally, I am a cheap AND frugal bitch, I don’t like to part with my money. Call me on it and I won’t blink to say you are right, but I do however, have taste. If I can get a gift two dollars cheaper, watch me hop to punch in my coupon. On the other hand I do put thought into my gifts, since Mr. Morgan would likely wrap raw bacon and be proud to present it. His concept of cash is like the Leprechaun from Lucky Charms… it’s magically appears. Bless his simple heart.
For the weekend …. I wish you all no holiday stress…. Wrap up the bacon, I seriously would if people knew how to take a joke.
-DM
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
9:15 PM
3 Comments:
When I still lived in Illinois, for no apparent reason I received the magazine "India Today" in my mailbox. It was addressed to me and I only received it once.
Luckily I received it around the holidays and proceeded to wrap it up and give it to my brother ASAP. Granted it wasn't his only present but damn if it wasn't one of his favorite presents he ever got!
I love silly presents and can appreciate the love of bacon. Now if only it wouldn't rot by the time it got to me! ;)
Lol, Mr. Morgan actually showed at up at his company xmas party last year with a raw fish as his offering. I had to wrap the fucking thing if you can imagine. We aren't talking sardine, this was a FISH and took a great deal of effort to find a fish to the size of his wantings. I don't remember who got to open that FUN FUN gift, but the boys went silly at the end of the night and were flopping it onto the roof of the resturuant, watching it slide down from the snow and throwing it more. Fish Flop 2006.
Bah Humbug!
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