If you need it THAT bad, take it
Mr. Morgan calls this morning to tell me someone has broken into his car AGAIN!
“Did they break the windows this time too?”
“No, they bent off my antennae and used it to get in.” he says all too calmly.
The last break in they took his whole stereo system and I found his old factory issued one in the trunk and installed it for him as a surprise. Don’t think for a second that it looked good at all as I couldn’t remove his entire dash so just taped it in place hoping the crackheads would think it was ghetto. But it did work and give him something to listen to during his daily commute.
“Did they take the radio?”
“Nope”
“What did they take?”
"They took... the...dildo."
"The double headed black one?"
"Yep."
"Ew... why?"
"Don't know, but it's gone."
"How do you know that ONE item is gone....." (wondering if he had gone looking for it or what)
"It's just gone."
"Crackheads man..... gross."
The above photo is what was stolen except it was black and I fuck you not that thing weighed easilly 5 pounds. Mr. Morgan purchased the double dong for a gag xmas gift at his company party and it just took residence in his car every since. Once I get into my home pc I'll update if I find the photos of them all with it, it was quite the affair.
It wasn't used ... my god that even scares ME, other than I seem to recall a few men being slapped in the face with it. The women just gathered around it with looks of terror on their faces.
From the face slappings and what nots, the thing was covered in lint and breaking in many places. Who steals something like that? I am laughing pretty hard over it, as Mr. Morgan was very calm about the whole thing. I suppose this is just another normal event for the Morgans and I wouldn't mind telling the next person to ask me how I am "Well..... frankly the dildo was stolen, and yourself?"
-DM
ps - Update, his bowling ball was stolen too. Is there a high price on the black market for dildos and used bowling balls? He's pissed over the bowling ball, it had his special shoes and the whole thing. I really don't like people.
“Did they break the windows this time too?”
“No, they bent off my antennae and used it to get in.” he says all too calmly.
The last break in they took his whole stereo system and I found his old factory issued one in the trunk and installed it for him as a surprise. Don’t think for a second that it looked good at all as I couldn’t remove his entire dash so just taped it in place hoping the crackheads would think it was ghetto. But it did work and give him something to listen to during his daily commute.
“Did they take the radio?”
“Nope”
“What did they take?”
"They took... the...dildo.""The double headed black one?"
"Yep."
"Ew... why?"
"Don't know, but it's gone."
"How do you know that ONE item is gone....." (wondering if he had gone looking for it or what)
"It's just gone."
"Crackheads man..... gross."
The above photo is what was stolen except it was black and I fuck you not that thing weighed easilly 5 pounds. Mr. Morgan purchased the double dong for a gag xmas gift at his company party and it just took residence in his car every since. Once I get into my home pc I'll update if I find the photos of them all with it, it was quite the affair.
It wasn't used ... my god that even scares ME, other than I seem to recall a few men being slapped in the face with it. The women just gathered around it with looks of terror on their faces.
From the face slappings and what nots, the thing was covered in lint and breaking in many places. Who steals something like that? I am laughing pretty hard over it, as Mr. Morgan was very calm about the whole thing. I suppose this is just another normal event for the Morgans and I wouldn't mind telling the next person to ask me how I am "Well..... frankly the dildo was stolen, and yourself?"
-DM
ps - Update, his bowling ball was stolen too. Is there a high price on the black market for dildos and used bowling balls? He's pissed over the bowling ball, it had his special shoes and the whole thing. I really don't like people.
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
9:05 AM
5 Comments:
Silly Sav.
They're going to throw the bowling ball through the liquor store window about 3:00 am tonight.
Once they've got all the Mad Dog they'll need for the evening, they go home and share with the strawberries and that's where the dildo comes in.
Elementary, really.
Gross lol.... but Mr. Morgan didn't police call it, shall I expect his arrest for fingerprints being all over it?
And pls at least use some sort of name so I know who you are.
That's the beauty of it. They get their Mad Dog. Mr. Morgan takes the rap.
Then Mr. Morgan says "Oh yeah, my bowling ball was stolen today."
And he gets the "tell it to the judge" treatment.
How many people call you Sav? Saffy and who?
Quite a few......
ok, the bowling ball is one issue, but......what about the fingerprints on the dildo?????
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