Working Girl

Right, so I have a lovely Ho-ho-HOLY SHIT- Holiday bladder infection. Santa came early! Having no insurance and being late on my pap smear presented a precocious situation. Was I really going to call my gyno’s office and beg? YES! I threw every card I had at the nurse, including but not limited to: being unemployed, uninsured, in pain, no heat, no water, hungry, tired from feeding the homeless all day, and it’s Christmas!!!!!

A bit over the top, but I got my way and am gobbling pee pills with an astonishing glee. Nothing like going to party’s and family events while harboring a groin pain that makes you wish you had a catheter and a bag strapped to your leg softly singing Christmas Carols as it collects your nasty angry urine.

My last bits of present arrive today, except for the socks I need to buy for Mr. Morgan – I caught another pair making a break for it this morning and Kylee swooped in to capture it. I heard it cry and beg for mercy. Like myself earlier that day, it also screamed “But it’s Christmas!” I almost let it keep running.

I still have a black eye and my lips have gone dry enough to split open. I swear I look like a hooker. And that I smoke to the equation and it's all but firmed up in many people's minds that indeed.... I am.

Things are gearing up and about to get very busy around here, I guess that’s ok. My mother and sister are kinda bickering, and everyone else I know is too. Everyone is pissy and I CAN’T piss….. Irony.

Merry.

-DM