Roll with it.

We know I drive the Metro.  On purpose.  My love for the Metro is so unbounded that when my last Metro was assaulted and made a victim, I bought another within a month. 


Most people do not drive a Metro on purpose.  It's usually because it's economical and is built to drive it's little heart out, mile after mile without fucking with you unreasonably.  In exchange for being hard driven and engineered to do a lot in a "limited spacial environment" (PC term instead of just saying what it is - a miniature donkey), the Metro in all it's use of mentioned limited-spacial-environment is forced to cut corners on the extras.



Now, when you think extras... you might picture power windows, power steering, maybe a little anti-lock brake action but naw, 'dem ain't featurs'!  Those are laughed off the table, we won't consider those anything except folly. 


Metro has two ways of being.  It's on, or it's off.  It does not glide nor coast, it wants for you to lovingly know you're in there.  Nothing gadgets by voice and no little motors run to address the comfort portion of the ride.  This said, when the Metro does act a fool, as mine is doing this month, it's not pissing around.  Metro doesn't whisper soothing reassurance that something might need to be checked when it's convenient, and the Metro could give a shit if your tires are a little low.  You won't be hearing my car nag you into fastening your seat belt (but you will hear me and that's possibly just as bad), and finally, the Metro - revert to the first line of this paragraph - has one purpose, being in either the sate of focusing on moving or nothing at all.


Not to say a Metro doesn't limp, it's simply not a lingering limp. Not like the last leg of a marathon, those runners have a steady-built slow limp-wobble to them.  Metro is more of a gunshot limp.  Everything is fine, then not so fine and lastly... "Fool I said hurry!" kaboom.  These cars are not infallible.  I went..... 6 years - two different Metros - with no major repair work.  It seems the Auto Gods have realized they missed the memo on this car and have to make up for lost time.  Two months ago it had a shitty serpentine belt.  You know these cars as the ones that howl past you, their driver ashamed at the absolute screech of their pissed off car spinning a ruined belt.  They usually taper off though don't they?  Usually when the driver slams the gas petal really hard?  Heh, yes that's why the jumpy-to-start behavior is often seen paired with that noise.  The belt corrects itself faster that way, but only after getting considerably louder too.  And it's terrible for the already dying belt but that noise will make you do irrational shit.  So, new belt.  Bam.  Happy Metro.


Then last week, Metro got a new headlight. I don't drive at night so that was ok, but it does have daytime running lights, making the car a one headed beacon.  It was making me nutty and Metro got a headlight.  Happy Metro.


Today, drunk on auto-part lust, Metro flashed angry, displaying "Service Engine Soon."


When I reported this in somewhat of a panic, I was patted on my head,  These people don't know the Metro laws of limping.  Car down, and fast.  Now that you know and understand me and my relationship with those laws can see why I didn't like my head patted.


"That's just your car saying to get around to it sooner than later."  was said to me.


I immediately disagreed, explaining how small the interior is, thus restricted features blah blah, and that for all I know there isn't both a "whenever" light AND a Check Engine" flasher.  Seems to me that IS the warning note.  No warning light for a worse warning light, but since I wasn't positive ...cocksucking Metro won.  Got parts.  Happy Metro.


Well maybe, I have a shiny new air filter for her that isn't flopped in but is sitting impatiently.  

//UPDATE!  Filter installed.  Mr. Morgan borderline disgusted at the incredibly cramped engine area.  Said he feels like he has giant hands..  //

Happy Hallow below.....



-DM