Defeat... or de-feet?
I went to the doctor for Formerly Known as Bone Toe. I called and asked to be slid into a slot between other people and was told I'd get a call back. After the ants I got to thinking, ya know hm I might need to get someone else to check this beast out.
I didn't get that call back so I paraded my limping ass (barefoot, as I cant really accomodate a shoe) into the office planning to wave it in the faces of waiting people, and plop it onto the sign in counter, having a good idea that they'd take me in fast as no one wants a crazy toe waving bitch in the lobby grossing other people out.
The doctors were busy but I got nurses. Fine. She looked at it in silence with pursed lips, then looked at me, then back at it and back at me with a very serious stare. I thought oh my god, it's bad! but I realized soon that she was just very boring and annoyed with her job and life and oxygen or something.
She asked how I'd done it, and I said I walked and she again gave me that Nurse Ratchet blank stare. Maybe she wanted a better answer but that's how it happened, I walked. Seems simple to me. I didn't feel the need to repeat the story I posted on the blog, and she was on my dollar, pretty much taking away any need to explain further that space and anything dimensional don't appear in my vision until I slam into it.
She went to trying to clean it, and I told her that what she was looking at WAS clean, and swabbing it was just increasing the possibility of me screaming and going fisty. She dug out all the black shit, to make sure I was in enough pain as I feared they might, and gave me some wrap-me-ups and gooey goodness. The whole time she looked at me like I was amping up a paper cut, but I kept trying to explain to her that thing protruding "is a BONE asshole!"
As I sat there I remembered that when I requested copies of my medical files from Shriners because I was born funny, and stayed that way, that it mentioned I was in special ed because I would get to running and trip over my right foot. I never did post my freak ability after Saffy's tongue, but I can turn that leg damn near entirely backwards while standing forward. No wonder I can't god damn walk.
I wonder if I can get a handicapped plaquard? If not the toe alone, the mind is definitely out there and getting me in and out of anywhere is to the benefit of any business owner.
-DM
ps - While on vacation this is Mr. Morgan's portrait of me. I hope it is not accurate and wtf about my boobs? They most certainly do not point south like that. I tried to give him a few pointers but he snarled at me and said it was under control. Ya, clearly.
I didn't get that call back so I paraded my limping ass (barefoot, as I cant really accomodate a shoe) into the office planning to wave it in the faces of waiting people, and plop it onto the sign in counter, having a good idea that they'd take me in fast as no one wants a crazy toe waving bitch in the lobby grossing other people out.
The doctors were busy but I got nurses. Fine. She looked at it in silence with pursed lips, then looked at me, then back at it and back at me with a very serious stare. I thought oh my god, it's bad! but I realized soon that she was just very boring and annoyed with her job and life and oxygen or something.
She asked how I'd done it, and I said I walked and she again gave me that Nurse Ratchet blank stare. Maybe she wanted a better answer but that's how it happened, I walked. Seems simple to me. I didn't feel the need to repeat the story I posted on the blog, and she was on my dollar, pretty much taking away any need to explain further that space and anything dimensional don't appear in my vision until I slam into it.
She went to trying to clean it, and I told her that what she was looking at WAS clean, and swabbing it was just increasing the possibility of me screaming and going fisty. She dug out all the black shit, to make sure I was in enough pain as I feared they might, and gave me some wrap-me-ups and gooey goodness. The whole time she looked at me like I was amping up a paper cut, but I kept trying to explain to her that thing protruding "is a BONE asshole!"
As I sat there I remembered that when I requested copies of my medical files from Shriners because I was born funny, and stayed that way, that it mentioned I was in special ed because I would get to running and trip over my right foot. I never did post my freak ability after Saffy's tongue, but I can turn that leg damn near entirely backwards while standing forward. No wonder I can't god damn walk.
I wonder if I can get a handicapped plaquard? If not the toe alone, the mind is definitely out there and getting me in and out of anywhere is to the benefit of any business owner.
-DM
ps - While on vacation this is Mr. Morgan's portrait of me. I hope it is not accurate and wtf about my boobs? They most certainly do not point south like that. I tried to give him a few pointers but he snarled at me and said it was under control. Ya, clearly.
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
6:45 PM
3 Comments:
Nothing? Not a single comment about the masterpiece for me to pass to the artist? Not a nibble?
Not to be critical, but if this is the depiction from someone who loves you, can I just say that I'm glad my boyfriend doesn't draw. That said; good effort and I really like his signature!
Lol be critical please. I looked at it after posing for a half hour and asked if he thought it was accurate, and what he sees when he looks at me. He said yes. I gasped. Eeep.
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