Potty Count!

Getting closer my little ghouls. The pumpkins are refusing to ripen proper and frankly I have come to think it's a mutiny. I am unable to say why but very able to say Margaret is the one who spearheaded the bullshit tardy reluctance to bloom. I had not planned to carve any of them, as I've nurtured for many months, but that bitch is going first just for being obstinate and inciting a riot.

In other news, Simon still thinks it's funny to poop on my carpeting. Ever notice people calling carpet "carpets?" as if it's plural when talking about one room? I have come to notice these little dialect differences as I adventure through spanish. I also cringe when someone says two pairs. Isn't two pair? Pair already implies plural. Digressing. So Simon is going to see his best friend tomorrow Dr. Pulver, as in Pulverizer to those who shit inside! but he doesn't know it. Frankly, I'm going to let him think his happy ass is going to the park to roll and sausage himself in the grass. No. He's getting a finger up his ass to express glands and I am all but calling a staff meeting for all to watch him and add the humiliation factor to it. "Get the interns, let's all learn from Simon!" Teach him right to be getting old and sloppy on me.

Soooo. well why not on today's submission. I don't think it's out of line for puppets to start getting honest.



- DM