Bubblicious

Dear Mr. Bubble,

My family has been a long time customer of your product, in fact it has been a pink staple in our bathtub for many years, so much that if a store does not carry Mr. Bubble, we will seek it elsewhere before settling for a far inferior brand of bathtime goodness. We know to trust Mr. Bubble and have never felt anything but thrilled after a sub-soaked swim!

I noticed your advertisement for a t-shirt on the back of your bottle one evening, as everyone in the house were donning bubble hats that read:

I would like to implore as such a faithful Mr. Bubble consumer that you send me a t-shirt without the cost, as I've already purchased your product, and often. I would be a walking free billboard for your product, and to be honest Mr. Bubble, Disney and Calgon are ripping into your market and stealing the bubble from under you.

Regards, and I hope to hear from you strive to live up to your sloagan that "Getting clean is almost as fun as getting dirty!"

DM

Well. I waited. I knew I'd get something. I almost always get something, even if it's a cheap voucher. Frankly I like mail. I like writing letters and getting replies. I don't abuse it, I really wanted Mr. Bubble to talk to me. After all, later on the bottle it says crisply not to overuse Mr. Bubble, lest a urinary tract infection could occur. Jesus! That's not a shy disclaimer, it smacks of a threat!

So UPS came to my door, always a welcome person.... usually with tan legs looking like he was fresh off a marathon or a shampoo commercial, glimmering and shit. And I gots me:


/sounds of angels singing.

Free fucking shirt. Goofy, dumb shirt? Absolutely. Will I wear it in public? Without question. I made the people a promise and cmon, who do you know above the age of ten wearing a bubble shirt that doesn't live in .... let's just pick one, hm let's go with Alabama and has her teeth? I'm rocking that shirt and I'm not sorry! Can't be any worse than when I wear my Michael Jackson shirt.

I get looks like I touched a kid just for being in it.

All it cost me was a postage stamp. Small thrills.

- DM