Sleepy Hollow

Yeah so (I love anyone who starts a sentence that way, smacks of Lumberger in Office Space) last friday Mr. Morgan had friends over and the po po arrived, we (the menfolk) presumed that it was getting loud but well within ordinance hours. Laughably, the officer asked if Mr. Morgan's dad was home. Hahahahahahahahaha! Mr. Morgan said he was the owner and what was up. They asked where we were at 7am. I heard that and became interested. Mr. Morgan was off hiking but I was home. The officer asked if we heard anything odd.

"Define odd." I said.
"The sound of an animal."
"Aside from the usual morning barking, no."

This wasn't animal cops either, it was the sheriff so I asked questions. Turns out someone has been cutting the heads off of dogs in the neighborhood. I literally heard the Russian make a break for the closet. How he understood - I don't know, those crazy KGB spies don't speak English unless it pertains to their field or self being I guess. And not just heads but cutting up the bodies like chicken cutlets.

Both my smart ass mother and sister - on two totally unrelated conversations asked me if any asians lived around. Grief. I said if that were the case there would just be MISSING dogs, not cut up ones stupids. Lol.

So Mr. Morgan was walking Kylee after this and found another head. Gross. And a regular at the dog park dog found one too - gets weirder, the man buried it, then called police. Um. Does he just travel with shovel? That's a bit weird.

The owner of that head wanted it dug up for identification. Jesus christ! I'm not saying I don't love Simon and would want closure, but there are certain things you can never "un-see" (think Human Centipede) I'd prefer to think he ran away rather than sear the image of his head sans body into my brain for life.

Maybe coyote, but it seems unlikely don't you think? In any event, told all you bitches it is NEVER too early for halloween! Creepy shit.

- DM