Attack of the Spotted

Ever seen a dog take a poop then with their back feet go mad digging up grass or whatever as though to bury it? That backwards leg thrust? Keep that thought in mind.

I was sitting in Mr. Morgan's room looking over the movies he'd rented for us. I've had one of those groin ingrown hairs that all good groomers get when they use their husbands piece of shit razors. Nothing that my doctor would see, recoil and say daaaaaaaamn to or anything, but painful all the same.

In prances Delilah, and I swear she did this on purpose because I was in her spot by "Daddy's chair." She climbed into my lap under the pretense of LOVE ME! so I gave her some pats and what nots and she pulled the sweeping foot claw..... right there.... on the ingrown.

Gasp.

After my breath returned to me I let out a yelp loud enough to make birds fall out of the sky. She got no less than 5 or 6 good leg kicks on it and her nails are anything but trimmed. Freddy Kruger would have done less damage.

The crotch you guys.... the crotch. Bitch thrashed up my shit and trotted of with a gleeful spring to her step. This is not an invitation to talk about my nethers, just something I had to type instead of booting her in HER crotch to see if she thinks it's fun to be on the receiving end.

OW!

End note, props to the Dems who made shit happen. I will have a political entry at some point, waiting a little while, and ya know..... crawling on the floor holding myself like I've been clawed. Just wait, I know where to buy a cup and I will get even with her sneak attacking ass. Maybe even a face mask and a hockey stick because she can consider those nails gone. Manicure city bitch.

-DM