The Scale of the Hopper
I've been experiencing technical difficulties with my over-priced home pc. To the lamen, it's simply giving me the finger.
I remain fairly sick, but better, which gives me hope that my immune system isn't in a coma. I've lost a few pounds on the Plague Diet, and am at 107.5. I know this only because Mr. Morgan walked into the room this morning and announced he was going to buy a scale. He came home with a rather impressive looking one, weighed himself and sauntered off to watch football.
I asked what the number roll was and he said he 229, but didn't care and had no idea why he'd purchased it at all. I would reference an entry from the blog I had to crash, but it's ... crashed. It pretty much just pointed out how powerful advertising is and how each and every one of our influential asses have come home with an item, yet no explanation why it was purchased other than it just looked purchasable.
I am occassionally going to re-post things from older years..... below is the entry on this day in 2005. Sadly, the photos reside on Franken-Puter, who has since retired with a gasp of relief.
__Hip Hop Hippity Hoppers!
2005-01-14 - 10:10 a.m.
I saw the coolest-thing-in-the-entire-WORLD yesterday.
Right, so I was on my way home from work, be-bopping so the radio when I started to pass a side street and I saw them.
A herd of deer, all huddled together looking totally freaked out. Right there in the middle of the city. One buck and about 29 does.
They were looking back and forth like “Wtf happened Frank? You TOLD us you knew the way, and now look what you’ve done! There are no god-damned bushes here, you lied!”
So what was my first thought? Pull over and take pictures!!! My journalism and breaking news capturing skills lack in every way and the photos I was getting weren’t very clear from inside the car, so I pulled into a parking lot for a better view.
With this angle the deer were about three feet from the front of my car, and I thought HOT DAMN is this going to be a good shot!
I’m a fairly stupid person, and it took me a minute to figure out that getting out of my car and shooting a bright flashing light into the eyes of already volatile wild animals might not have been all that groovy of an idea.
I got a single photo off when the one with the horns turned and looked at me like I was about to be spanked, deer style. I got back into my car like lightening.
It was then one of the does got spooked and took off like a bullet. The others, being lemmings followed suit and the entire lot of them looked like a fucking sleigh should have been in the back of group.
They took off toward a pretty major intersection where one of our local bums was chilling on a corner with a bottle of hooch. He saw this shit coming his way and his eyes went all cartoon like and bulged. Well bless the Nevada bums because he got up and started waving traffic to stop because these animals were moving at mach-one to get the hell out of town.
I was howling in my car thinking “aw shit man one of these is going to get hit and I am going to have to perform some deer CPR and stuff.”
No, I don’t know deer CPR but I was ready to give it a go if I had to.
They made it across just fine, when a cop going by saw what was shaking down. My city cops aren’t incredibly bright and he threw on his siren and flashers like the deer would pull over and say “Sorry officer we were just a little lost.” Moron.
I stopped following at that point and squealed for the rest of the day over the photos I got. I even hopped like a deer for the rest of the night because, well because I’m retarded and plus they were really cute in their frantic little way.
With the 16 feet of snow the mountains got they have been coming down from everywhere looking for food. I begged Mr. Morgan all night long…
“Lemme go feed the deer.”
“You are so not going to feed the deer.”
“I SO am.”
“You don’t even know where they went.”
“I’ll find one.”
“Have you any deer food?”
“Hm. No, what do they eat, like pellets and shit?”
He just walked away at that point.
So that was my story for the day, it was amazing.
-DM
I remain fairly sick, but better, which gives me hope that my immune system isn't in a coma. I've lost a few pounds on the Plague Diet, and am at 107.5. I know this only because Mr. Morgan walked into the room this morning and announced he was going to buy a scale. He came home with a rather impressive looking one, weighed himself and sauntered off to watch football.
I asked what the number roll was and he said he 229, but didn't care and had no idea why he'd purchased it at all. I would reference an entry from the blog I had to crash, but it's ... crashed. It pretty much just pointed out how powerful advertising is and how each and every one of our influential asses have come home with an item, yet no explanation why it was purchased other than it just looked purchasable.
I am occassionally going to re-post things from older years..... below is the entry on this day in 2005. Sadly, the photos reside on Franken-Puter, who has since retired with a gasp of relief.
__Hip Hop Hippity Hoppers!
2005-01-14 - 10:10 a.m.
I saw the coolest-thing-in-the-entire-WORLD yesterday.
Right, so I was on my way home from work, be-bopping so the radio when I started to pass a side street and I saw them.
A herd of deer, all huddled together looking totally freaked out. Right there in the middle of the city. One buck and about 29 does.
They were looking back and forth like “Wtf happened Frank? You TOLD us you knew the way, and now look what you’ve done! There are no god-damned bushes here, you lied!”
So what was my first thought? Pull over and take pictures!!! My journalism and breaking news capturing skills lack in every way and the photos I was getting weren’t very clear from inside the car, so I pulled into a parking lot for a better view.
With this angle the deer were about three feet from the front of my car, and I thought HOT DAMN is this going to be a good shot!
I’m a fairly stupid person, and it took me a minute to figure out that getting out of my car and shooting a bright flashing light into the eyes of already volatile wild animals might not have been all that groovy of an idea.
I got a single photo off when the one with the horns turned and looked at me like I was about to be spanked, deer style. I got back into my car like lightening.
It was then one of the does got spooked and took off like a bullet. The others, being lemmings followed suit and the entire lot of them looked like a fucking sleigh should have been in the back of group.
They took off toward a pretty major intersection where one of our local bums was chilling on a corner with a bottle of hooch. He saw this shit coming his way and his eyes went all cartoon like and bulged. Well bless the Nevada bums because he got up and started waving traffic to stop because these animals were moving at mach-one to get the hell out of town.
I was howling in my car thinking “aw shit man one of these is going to get hit and I am going to have to perform some deer CPR and stuff.”
No, I don’t know deer CPR but I was ready to give it a go if I had to.
They made it across just fine, when a cop going by saw what was shaking down. My city cops aren’t incredibly bright and he threw on his siren and flashers like the deer would pull over and say “Sorry officer we were just a little lost.” Moron.
I stopped following at that point and squealed for the rest of the day over the photos I got. I even hopped like a deer for the rest of the night because, well because I’m retarded and plus they were really cute in their frantic little way.
With the 16 feet of snow the mountains got they have been coming down from everywhere looking for food. I begged Mr. Morgan all night long…
“Lemme go feed the deer.”
“You are so not going to feed the deer.”
“I SO am.”
“You don’t even know where they went.”
“I’ll find one.”
“Have you any deer food?”
“Hm. No, what do they eat, like pellets and shit?”
He just walked away at that point.
So that was my story for the day, it was amazing.
-DM
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
10:22 AM
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