Tasking
(read to the end, worth it)
Know what's worse than chores?
I'll wait.
Worse than chores is being me and knowing chores are out there, waiting and drumming their bulshit chor-ey fingers. I end up in such a state of procrastination that the chores themselves become a chore in just worrying about them. Can't nap, can't make myself supper.... the chores... are.... waiting. Why not just do them? Because that would give them the wrong impression and excite them for a steady schedule that I have no intention of filling.
However when done, I am so relieved and hoppy, priding myself over a simple task of ... being a clean human in a clean human habitat. Relatively speaking of course, taking the chance that Pantene is all the commercials claim that it is.
So I cut the Russian's hair. I didn't want to but hye was getting embarrassing, both to us and himself. A dog who does not shed eventually strides in with a firmly impacted... present? .... attached to his hindquarters that he really doesn't like to carry, let alone announce to others that this has happened. So we daily "Can I check the butt?" followed with "Good butt!" if it calls for such. When haircut day comes we try and relax the situation by singing "Doin' the butt!" duh-nuh duh-nuh. It's not his fault, all good in love and ass. Before:
After! Mad and shit for no reason.
Happier. Reaslizes that this was a good thing! And not only a nice new do, but Mama didnt hit any major arteries. Rock. I have a little man again, who has promised to never grow hair another single hair. Ever.
Keynote to my Saturaday.
"Psst.... Baby... " I said to my Mister. "I found a penis on my chip."
He of course was curious. "A what?"
"Penis."
"Where"
"On the chip, it's got a groin and everything, wanna see it?"
"Like duh!"
It also had an asscrack backside. Too awesome. I can't even bring myself to eat the damned anomoly. I simply stare at it and giggle, like I've never seen a peen or asscrack.
I've seen both just not in Sour Cream and Cheddar. Can I ever imagine blindly eating another chip knowing I could find another special? No, no sir I cannot. What if Jesus is out there waiting in a chip. That just wouldn't be Christian of me. That's a monumental joke. hope it translates.
Since everyone else is cashing in on these "miracles" you, yes YOU can bid on the Penis Chip and have in your very grasp a thing of undeniable magesty. Takers?
-DM
Know what's worse than chores?
I'll wait.
Worse than chores is being me and knowing chores are out there, waiting and drumming their bulshit chor-ey fingers. I end up in such a state of procrastination that the chores themselves become a chore in just worrying about them. Can't nap, can't make myself supper.... the chores... are.... waiting. Why not just do them? Because that would give them the wrong impression and excite them for a steady schedule that I have no intention of filling.
However when done, I am so relieved and hoppy, priding myself over a simple task of ... being a clean human in a clean human habitat. Relatively speaking of course, taking the chance that Pantene is all the commercials claim that it is.
So I cut the Russian's hair. I didn't want to but hye was getting embarrassing, both to us and himself. A dog who does not shed eventually strides in with a firmly impacted... present? .... attached to his hindquarters that he really doesn't like to carry, let alone announce to others that this has happened. So we daily "Can I check the butt?" followed with "Good butt!" if it calls for such. When haircut day comes we try and relax the situation by singing "Doin' the butt!" duh-nuh duh-nuh. It's not his fault, all good in love and ass. Before:
After! Mad and shit for no reason.
Happier. Reaslizes that this was a good thing! And not only a nice new do, but Mama didnt hit any major arteries. Rock. I have a little man again, who has promised to never grow hair another single hair. Ever.
Keynote to my Saturaday."Psst.... Baby... " I said to my Mister. "I found a penis on my chip."
He of course was curious. "A what?"
"Penis."
"Where"
"On the chip, it's got a groin and everything, wanna see it?"
"Like duh!"
It also had an asscrack backside. Too awesome. I can't even bring myself to eat the damned anomoly. I simply stare at it and giggle, like I've never seen a peen or asscrack.
I've seen both just not in Sour Cream and Cheddar. Can I ever imagine blindly eating another chip knowing I could find another special? No, no sir I cannot. What if Jesus is out there waiting in a chip. That just wouldn't be Christian of me. That's a monumental joke. hope it translates.Since everyone else is cashing in on these "miracles" you, yes YOU can bid on the Penis Chip and have in your very grasp a thing of undeniable magesty. Takers?
-DM
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
7:22 PM
6 Comments:
Okay third time is a charm trying to leave a comment! My internet just doesn't want to work tonight!
This post is hilarious, both regarding the russian and the peen. He does look seriously mad in that second pic, cracked me up! I can almost hear the "doin' the butt" song too!
I'm the same way about chores. It's so exhausting knowing they're out there and waiting to be done!
Get that internet fixed, me misses my Best Saffy!! Lol when I said "we" do the but checks, I meant Simon and myself. There entire brood doesn't file in and gather around him, it's all very discreet lololol. Hard to know that when every photo has bits of Kylee in it, but that's only because she's worried about potentially being slighted a snack.
OMG DM! You have a gold mine there in that Peener chip. Put it on ebay! Seriously, you can make a fortune! People love penis chips...I know I would. Could be a marketing thing.
Simon looks very cute with his new do.
Nice chip! It would have already been gobbled had I found it. Even Jesus peen won't stand between me and sour cream. (also a monumental joke that I hope traslates.)
I seriously hope you have this on ebay now, or plan to. SERIOUSLY.
please tell me you didnt eat it!
I have yet to comment, but a penis chip - I HAD TO!
I think you should ebay it!
Love!
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