I can play all day....
Holiday parties. The potential for shit to go sideways, and the distinct probability of honesty falling out of mouths courtesy of drink tokens. Everything that makes for me becoming Pavlov's Dog.
Mr. Morgan wore a suit and I looked not unlike Jackie-fucking-O on his arm. All was proper. The younger chickens were already out front, smoking their angry minds out but I went in to greet the hosts, and Mr. Morgan's boss and wife, all the formalities a Jackie would do right? Of course two minutes later I joined the chickens, who were happy to have another to fold into the bitch circle. Not invited into chicken circle was the mom of that Simon eating dog. Still hasn't said sorry.
This lovely person I guess pissed off one of the main chickens, who is so damn cute I wanna poke her and see if she giggles. I bet she does. She also is balls out and young, will throw down to fisticuffs sort of girl after a few drinks. End of the night they did a white elephant thing and most people were sloshed or hoping to get there. We had a 45 minute drive home so... not us kids. I could have been, but it's an expensive restaurant and ... again Jackie factor for the boss's anyhow. Outside smoking area was fair game.
I had initially plotted to pack up the destroyed screen door for the dog eater's parents and present that as my white elephant gift, because I'm a dick like that and I don't like having to ask for reparations time and again. Just because I ask nicely doesn't mean I'm not dead serious.
Father of dog we fostered made a huge mistake of trying to fit in and approached my circle. He'd won a gift card, 25 shitty bucks and above mentioned chicken reallllly wanted it. His asshole bride said hello to no one all night and stood somewhere about ten feet back with the facial expression of Satan.
I told him to give chicken the card, in front of everyone. Went like this with that cocked asshole one brow raise I do when playing, ... chess? And knowing I was two moves from a win:
"She really wants it, and if you give it to her I'll get off your balls about replacing the screen door your dog destroyed after eating Simon"
I know that absolutely embarrassed him and pissed him off royal. Yes sir, welcome to my parlor.
"Did you think I forgot?"
"No, I know you haven't"
"Then give her card." many eye contact and I felt him trying to set my soul on fire.
I walked off. How easy can I make it? I know it seems trite perhaps, but I'm a pun? dog with a bone over this issue.
Solution -
1. Don't wait 3 days to ask if Simon is dead.
2. Fix or pay to repair my property.
3. Fork over the card. 25 bucks is about what the repair would be.
Any of the above saves me being on your ass, in public. I was done having wrecked his wedding, but two months later, saying he hadn't forgotten .. but no pay and his cunt wife still has said not a word to me and pissed off a fellow chicken. Don't make it so easy.
So, bad girl, and no he didn't give the card. Probably scared his wife would beat him if he had. It really was a great party though, that didn't damper it at all for me. I wasn't the uncomfortable person. Was the perfect opportunity to make right with people, guess they don't play a lot of dominoes.
How are your holidays coming along?
- DM
Mr. Morgan wore a suit and I looked not unlike Jackie-fucking-O on his arm. All was proper. The younger chickens were already out front, smoking their angry minds out but I went in to greet the hosts, and Mr. Morgan's boss and wife, all the formalities a Jackie would do right? Of course two minutes later I joined the chickens, who were happy to have another to fold into the bitch circle. Not invited into chicken circle was the mom of that Simon eating dog. Still hasn't said sorry.
This lovely person I guess pissed off one of the main chickens, who is so damn cute I wanna poke her and see if she giggles. I bet she does. She also is balls out and young, will throw down to fisticuffs sort of girl after a few drinks. End of the night they did a white elephant thing and most people were sloshed or hoping to get there. We had a 45 minute drive home so... not us kids. I could have been, but it's an expensive restaurant and ... again Jackie factor for the boss's anyhow. Outside smoking area was fair game.
I had initially plotted to pack up the destroyed screen door for the dog eater's parents and present that as my white elephant gift, because I'm a dick like that and I don't like having to ask for reparations time and again. Just because I ask nicely doesn't mean I'm not dead serious.
Father of dog we fostered made a huge mistake of trying to fit in and approached my circle. He'd won a gift card, 25 shitty bucks and above mentioned chicken reallllly wanted it. His asshole bride said hello to no one all night and stood somewhere about ten feet back with the facial expression of Satan.
I told him to give chicken the card, in front of everyone. Went like this with that cocked asshole one brow raise I do when playing, ... chess? And knowing I was two moves from a win:
"She really wants it, and if you give it to her I'll get off your balls about replacing the screen door your dog destroyed after eating Simon"
I know that absolutely embarrassed him and pissed him off royal. Yes sir, welcome to my parlor.
"Did you think I forgot?"
"No, I know you haven't"
"Then give her card." many eye contact and I felt him trying to set my soul on fire.
I walked off. How easy can I make it? I know it seems trite perhaps, but I'm a pun? dog with a bone over this issue.
Solution -
1. Don't wait 3 days to ask if Simon is dead.
2. Fix or pay to repair my property.
3. Fork over the card. 25 bucks is about what the repair would be.
Any of the above saves me being on your ass, in public. I was done having wrecked his wedding, but two months later, saying he hadn't forgotten .. but no pay and his cunt wife still has said not a word to me and pissed off a fellow chicken. Don't make it so easy.
So, bad girl, and no he didn't give the card. Probably scared his wife would beat him if he had. It really was a great party though, that didn't damper it at all for me. I wasn't the uncomfortable person. Was the perfect opportunity to make right with people, guess they don't play a lot of dominoes.
How are your holidays coming along?
- DM
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
6:36 PM
2 Comments:
Well played my dear. Not only can you continue resting on his balls till he fixes screen, but everyone knows, which should add a little pressure.
And I agree with you, he was more scared of his gf than of you. He's whipped.
WAIT a minute....a strange dog busted threw your screen door and attacked simon???? did i miss a post or something??? when did this happen??? good for you for doing what ya did!!! me...if his dog had attacked my babies, i wouldve just nailed him right in his balls!!!!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home