Ugly Sunday.
Veiwer discretion, I am extremely ugly today. I asked myself why.... self had no answer.
For some unknown reason, perhaps looking for a pass to Heaven, there is a gorgeous woman I met from being mentally ill on a message board who from time to time sends me shit she no longer wants. I accept these packages with a teenager's glee of wanting to stick it under ones' shirt and hideaway in a closet to open and see what may be inside. I knew she'd promised to send me some of those teeth whitening strips I am too cheap to purchase.
My code name lately has been Green Teeth, so this was a very welcomed arrival. I feel like a fucking boxer though, all mouth geared up. Trust me, I wanted to photoshop the below photos in the worst of ways. I look like I should be consulting a plastic surgeon, not a Crest Whitestrip. My face portrays this sentiment quite well. That shit under my right eye. for those who don't recall, is from walking straight into a gaping hole of construction glass when I was very young. Since gravity has a sense of humor, it's dropped an inch over the years and wants to make me into Joan Rivers.
I do however have high hopes on the bleaching. It can't hurt and after I pull these fucking things off (half hour to write this up while I "bake") I am definitely addressing those eyebrows.
Nostril City! (And whoever said my eyelashes are fake.... SEE! Not fake asshole, just not medicated with the goodness of CoverGirl, it IS sunday after all).
But I did find a kite lodged under our front garbage can and scooped it up because ya know.... I like trash.
What DID happen to our yard? We don't know. We blame the Republicans. And we blame Reality Check just because we can say the kite "could" have been from a kid and we furthered our dirty ways of slighting a child.
Creepy point of above photo... am I floating? I don't recall a float. I'd like to have a good float.
I may post up some of my digital art tomorrow, most of you have seen it but short of seeing a plane crash, I don't have all that much to say lately.
I get a pap smear tomorrow morning? Is that notable?
If I had any balls and a nice bank account though, I'd consider some fix ups. Feel free to post that if there were no boundaries, what would you have done? Anything? Nothing? Go noble and say I'm perfect how I am and lie? Let me know...
-DM
For some unknown reason, perhaps looking for a pass to Heaven, there is a gorgeous woman I met from being mentally ill on a message board who from time to time sends me shit she no longer wants. I accept these packages with a teenager's glee of wanting to stick it under ones' shirt and hideaway in a closet to open and see what may be inside. I knew she'd promised to send me some of those teeth whitening strips I am too cheap to purchase.
My code name lately has been Green Teeth, so this was a very welcomed arrival. I feel like a fucking boxer though, all mouth geared up. Trust me, I wanted to photoshop the below photos in the worst of ways. I look like I should be consulting a plastic surgeon, not a Crest Whitestrip. My face portrays this sentiment quite well. That shit under my right eye. for those who don't recall, is from walking straight into a gaping hole of construction glass when I was very young. Since gravity has a sense of humor, it's dropped an inch over the years and wants to make me into Joan Rivers.
I do however have high hopes on the bleaching. It can't hurt and after I pull these fucking things off (half hour to write this up while I "bake") I am definitely addressing those eyebrows.
Nostril City! (And whoever said my eyelashes are fake.... SEE! Not fake asshole, just not medicated with the goodness of CoverGirl, it IS sunday after all).
But I did find a kite lodged under our front garbage can and scooped it up because ya know.... I like trash.
What DID happen to our yard? We don't know. We blame the Republicans. And we blame Reality Check just because we can say the kite "could" have been from a kid and we furthered our dirty ways of slighting a child.
Creepy point of above photo... am I floating? I don't recall a float. I'd like to have a good float.
I may post up some of my digital art tomorrow, most of you have seen it but short of seeing a plane crash, I don't have all that much to say lately.
I get a pap smear tomorrow morning? Is that notable?
If I had any balls and a nice bank account though, I'd consider some fix ups. Feel free to post that if there were no boundaries, what would you have done? Anything? Nothing? Go noble and say I'm perfect how I am and lie? Let me know...
-DM
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
6:16 PM
11 Comments:
I had to watch that arbies movie again that thing rocks.
Fix ups are always fun :)
boob lifet/reduction, and a couple of annoying and HUGE white moles removed. ugh. My Gran always said my pinkie toes were a waste of space and should be removed....so, naturally I am overly fond of them.
I'd opt for a breast augmentation. Perhaps a little lipo on my thighs. That said, I think the lines, foibles, etc. are our claim to our past. I have a scar under my right eye that reminds me of my clumsiness during my last pregnancy. DM, I think you're lovely in a very real way. Don't go changin!
BLD, you have very cute baby toes!
Yes she does. They jut in their own directions as if trying to run off on their own. Rather endearing.
What a shocker. Self-image issues.
Because you are so perfect. /yawn. Didn't I say to go away? Self image issues, and yet you come to a site you don't like... to tell others how much they suck. Project much?
u are beautiful, green teeth and all. xo
DM that was a lovely response to reality check. You know that I have verbally defended RC to you on the subject of your jeffs. I did not do so here because this is your blog about your experiences, and I felt that wasn't my place. However, I now believe that you were right, it wasn't merely dissent, but rather a troll. How else can one explain RC's comment here? If nothing else, RC feels free to cast mean-spirited opinions based on nothing.
To RC, you're a wank you know that? And I base that on your demonstrated stupidity. I wouldn't make any judgements on anyone here about their self image based on changes they may or may not want to make (it was a hypothetical question after all, and we all could have made these changes at any time during our adult lives)and I think I can demonstrate that the changes I mentioned are not related to my self image. How? Well first by what I wouldn't change. I said I wouldnt change my toes tho someone in my life didn't like them? why? Good self image, thank you. I said I'd get a breast reduction but mentioned nothing about lipo even though I tip the scales at +250. why? backaches, moron! and even the moles, while unattractive, bother me more because my freaky little mind can't help but fantasize about them being in the way of something or caught on something and being ripped away. However, I would definately ENJOY the aesthetic benefits of all the changes I mentioned, and what's it to you? I'd rather be an overweight over the hill, big boobed, pointy toed, freaky brained Demolibertcommiecat than a blowhard like you.
ps - Welcome to my un-named soldier. The army wants YOU! /grins and skips with glee. -DM
un-named soldier is me... lol... i forgot to sign in that day
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home