Tuesday, April 24, 2007

What dat????

I am not feeling all that much better today, I may have to tell my mother to get on the liver hunt. However, a gem... no ... THE gem of all things gem-ish came to cheer me up.

Moon announced she spotted the diamond earlier in the morning, and it was not to be missed. Now, while I am not hard to entertain, I am hard to impress. I.. was.... very... impressed.

"Did you see the car?"
"What car?"
"The one with the giant snowman on it's roof."

/snatches camera.

"Lead on."

This is in fact a car.

Looking closely you will see signs that I am not lying. This thing was better than a round of Where's Waldo, and had we lingered long enough, I am confident we'd have found him.

Vintage hair dryer, some vacuum parts, basically this car was representing every item on earth, including the media who was snapping like mad with a glee that would take several hours to digest.

The airbag trade for the keyboard is quite intuitive. Have you ever seen more shit on a vehicle?

Flashlights in front on the headlights is a great touch. The inner parts of the engine being on the hood doesn't hurt either. /shakes a fist in defiance to every car that ever failed me.

Is it art.... or crack induced? For one moment I thought I was being a jerk for taking pictures but then retracted and took note - is this a SHY car? Who makes something like this if not wanting it to be well viewed. If I saw this thing in my rearview mirror I'd start to pray and promise god that taking that hit of acid in 1992 was wrong, but please don't sick Santa and his warriors on me.

Moon whispered she wondered if the etch-a-sketch worked, and I admit to my fingers going into a jittery wanting to scribe THANK YOU, but alas I couldn't touch someone else's stuff. My luck would have been that as I wrote my note of appreciation the entire mechanism bonding all that shit to the car would go unsticky and I'd be standing there with all that hard work around my feet and an etch-a-sketch in my guilty little fingers, carrying an expression of wanting to flee, die, apologize or run for super glue.

Props for the PEZ dispensers and bingo troll too. And the bedframe. This car could navigate a space shuttle home, it has THAT much shit, that many computer parts and remotes.... I believe it could quite honestly be the hub that moves GW's mouth when he speaks.

In closing, thanks to Delilah for barfing up something that finally made me follow suit. I hadn't even had my after sex smoke before she made a noise and I walked out of the bathroom to find the most vile ... indistinguishable pile of ooze possible. I fed that dog none of those things. I screamed for everyone to leave the room, all were more than happy to ablige. I really thought I could handle it. Puke has never made me think I should join the party, but the smell and consistency (lack of) of this hit my face, game over. I had most of it scooped into a leftover paper plate Mr. Morgan had left, and something in the slopping process did me in. WHAT did she get into? Mr. Morgan had to come back as I gagged my way to him holding a bottle of cleaner, not giving a fuck if it bleached the carpet white, the smell of that shit - to make ME vomit, means one breath short of death. Even smelling a dying/and dead fellow firsthand I never puked. Wow. That's all I have in closing. Just wow. Delilah seems quite happy and tail waggy now, having expelled her alien conveniently in the middle of our bedroom floor. How many times can I be impressed in day? That was one fuck of a puke. Poor kid.


-DM


ps - Want some fresh music? Quite the rage across the pond.



pps - My ex didn't appear for court. TOLD ya'll he'd go on the lam.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's a burning man car if I've ever seen one! Actually, I've seen some pretty amazing burner cars.

2:55 PM  

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