The not so itsy bitsy .......
Because I didn't express enough yesterday how completely shot my nerves are, I had a visitor.
I came inside after work, remembered I left my nicotine needfuls in the car and went back out towards car - barefoot - a fashion in which I normally go to and from work, with a pair of flip flops by the pedals in case of a pull over. I saw something chilling on the walk and leapt no shit high enough that my rafter birds said "bitch do you mind?"
I climbed down and said ... oh it's just one of my halloween leftovers because godDAMN if it wasn't the same size and on the exact same level of cooling. It was there like it had always been there. No moving, no idea that it was planning a flee so I confirmed "DM you are so fucking stupid, no way that thing is real." but at the same time, there was also no way I had walked past that five minutes before on my way in.
On my trot back (BAREFOOT!!!!!) I still wasn't convinced. It appeared far too suddenly and looked like a dog playing dead. Goosebumps were not shaking and I have learned to trust them. This was a nasty fucker on the move to come inside and kill me in my sleep.
So I got a rock. I laugh, because if you ask me to aim at anything I may as well throw it backwards, but I see a giant spider and I become a sniper. I smacked it dead on with the precision of a champion archer (or not-fucking-around-arachnophobe), and leapt back to my feathered friends for safety.
It was NOT one of my halloween props. Looks identical to what comes in that fake webbing though. I went back to check if it did run, but I know I smoked it good with that stone.
Getting this close is still shivering me up. Far too leggy. Too big, and way too close to my front door looking leggy and big. What the fuck is this spider? Anyone know? It wasn't a widow, I've seen plenty of those and they aren't any more comforting. Look at how sharp it's legs are! (small grin to self because I my stone got a head shot! Take another look. The female side of Casa de Morgan takes no chances..... we watch horror films, we know how dirty those crawly bitches are).
It was sitting in bright daylight and didn't make one move. I think it's a super smart spider, but it better be the last of it's kind. It was bigger than the quarter, but after the rock hurl it rolled up some.
Unbelievably not ok with me. I'm itching and shit now, convinced things are crawling about. HATE spiders. It's not even a spider, it's a sign from God to torture me and make me want to call the Penecostals. That would be the joke on the joke for god.
Frown!
-DM
I came inside after work, remembered I left my nicotine needfuls in the car and went back out towards car - barefoot - a fashion in which I normally go to and from work, with a pair of flip flops by the pedals in case of a pull over. I saw something chilling on the walk and leapt no shit high enough that my rafter birds said "bitch do you mind?"
I climbed down and said ... oh it's just one of my halloween leftovers because godDAMN if it wasn't the same size and on the exact same level of cooling. It was there like it had always been there. No moving, no idea that it was planning a flee so I confirmed "DM you are so fucking stupid, no way that thing is real." but at the same time, there was also no way I had walked past that five minutes before on my way in.
On my trot back (BAREFOOT!!!!!) I still wasn't convinced. It appeared far too suddenly and looked like a dog playing dead. Goosebumps were not shaking and I have learned to trust them. This was a nasty fucker on the move to come inside and kill me in my sleep.
So I got a rock. I laugh, because if you ask me to aim at anything I may as well throw it backwards, but I see a giant spider and I become a sniper. I smacked it dead on with the precision of a champion archer (or not-fucking-around-arachnophobe), and leapt back to my feathered friends for safety.
It was NOT one of my halloween props. Looks identical to what comes in that fake webbing though. I went back to check if it did run, but I know I smoked it good with that stone.
Getting this close is still shivering me up. Far too leggy. Too big, and way too close to my front door looking leggy and big. What the fuck is this spider? Anyone know? It wasn't a widow, I've seen plenty of those and they aren't any more comforting. Look at how sharp it's legs are! (small grin to self because I my stone got a head shot! Take another look. The female side of Casa de Morgan takes no chances..... we watch horror films, we know how dirty those crawly bitches are).
It was sitting in bright daylight and didn't make one move. I think it's a super smart spider, but it better be the last of it's kind. It was bigger than the quarter, but after the rock hurl it rolled up some.
Unbelievably not ok with me. I'm itching and shit now, convinced things are crawling about. HATE spiders. It's not even a spider, it's a sign from God to torture me and make me want to call the Penecostals. That would be the joke on the joke for god.
Frown!
-DM
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
4:59 PM
2 Comments:
I don't hate spiders, but I wouldn't want that one in my house. On occasion, I do get some equally large, yet hopefully harmles, wolf spiders. I try to communicate with them to please go elsewhere. It usually works for me, but then again, it may be all in my head.
LOL regarding the Pentecostals! I have a fair amount of experience with them...more than I care divulge. Scary bunch they are, I'd rather take the spider.
I'm surprised you didn't pick it up and put it on your finger!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home