Mucous is a state of mind

Mr. Morgan worked on Saturday, leaving me to pace the house and wonder what I could improve upon. There is never a lack of shit to make better, work faster, or be otherwise more efficient in service to my world.

Weeman walked into the room looking like an abondoned and rusting train wreck, yet happy to be such. He is very unpretentious. When he looks like shit, he's not aware of it and I admire that particular quality. He loves being sheared and takes off like a shiney new bullet, carrying the energy of William Wallace, "Freeeeeeedom" as he sprints.

Here he is before, chewing the balls on his Sonic Hedgehog, belly up no less. It's face or balls for this dog, I've come to think he is more aware of his size than I give him credit because he is keen on the money spots much akin to a rabid ferret.

Pickle after doesn't look so different but he is. Mr. Morgan came home and he was embarrassed for Simon. There isn't a better dog to take a haircut. Clippers don't exist to shear this animal, he is clipped slice by slice with scissors and it only took one fuck up years back to teach him that playing dead is the best course during this procedure. Ok sure, the scissors slipped line once, and it was in a place he suddenly thought "heeeey, last time I felt that you took me for a ride and shit was missing when I came home... deal off!"

Since then he doesn't so much as take a deep breath, carefully eyeing my wine glass and it's level. Lol, when I was a kid and my mother yelled it was bang-cutting time, we bolted like cheetahs for the same reason. Otherwise it was explaining that the crooked cut was all the rage overseas.

Here is Simon being a Meerkat.

And finally, Simon thanking god it's over.


"Will you come kick this dog?" I hear.
"Why would I do that? Which dog?"
"The bald one."
"I don't think I'll kick a dog, but what's wrong?"
"He's scooting."
"Ok"

/calls the little dog and explains I have to check the butt. This will not be detailed.

"He's gotta scoot."
"It's gross."
"It's anal glands and entertaining, plus if he doesn't he has to see the vet. He's working as a little coupon."

-DM

(ps - when asked of Mr. Morgan to name a Simon entry... that's what we got).

pps - I got my first Confession today. Can't tell, can't judge, but is thinking someone an asshole a judgement, or a statement, or fact?