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Because I'm feeling like a complete sell-out of a wife, I felt the need to re-post Mr. Morgan before his spray tan. Our vanity knows few limits, our pocketbook however begs to get the in-home orange lotion if we desire to not look like the walking dead. The generic one if posible. Carrot vs. Zombie is quite the dilema.

He really looks like he lost a bet in this photo, and I was behind the camera wearing something quite similar, except for the fact that I'd inadvertantly exhaled the nose plug onto the floor where it was later returned to me "is this yours?" How gross, I'm sorry Prada. Could have been worse, it's not like I lost a.... say ..... tampon in the hallway to disgust the staff and make them produce a broom as though shooing a rodent out the front door. I'm great for business.

I phoned the temp agency this morning and it was like an 80's movie.

"Oh... my ...god... DM I was JUST going to call you!"
/twirls hair "I like totally know!"
"So ok.... ok.... listen.... ok." then she twirls HER hair (I heard it). "I have something for you, but like, it's really a bummer time for me, I have people here and like, they want stuff, can I call you right back?"
"That would be SO tubular!"

Her concept of "right back" seemingly means "LIKE NEVER" and I didn't get a cunting call back. My idea of right back falls into the range of the same day, I'm not gonna bust balls and be picky over an hour... but jesus, did she wind her hair too tightly into oblivion and forget me altogether? I don't go away, ask anyone, even those with repellant.

I got a dollar in the mail today. A real dollar! As opposed to those bullshit checks claiming thousands of dollars off a car that I don't require. I held it up to the light and it was in fact American currency. For what? To talk. Has it gotten so dismal that I will answer a survey for one dollar? You betcha. I'm promised another when I do it. Generally I talk for free - a lot, so it's a good deal. I almost threw it out as junk mail, and upon finding said yap payment I got to thinking how many people actually DID, and began plans for staking out mail boxes and post offices to dive for cast aside dollars people didn't know were in there. I can be covert and we all know this girl will throw herself into traffic for a stray quarter, even before I was unemployed. I'm on the Secret Survey Snag and Streak mission. Not streak, streak, that would be entirely uncalled for, although people might pay me just to put my clothes back on. Hm, decent back up plan but I'd probably blow it all for bail.

- DM