Sunday Simon
Dear (insert name of my vet tech pal),
I need your help. Something seems to be wrong with my bum and Mom and Dad are frowning at me a lot. I've always been a scooter when it bothers me, but lately I can't stop myself from licking my hindquarters constantly. I've not wounded myself from the licking but it sure smells bad and makes my fur matted while the female yorkies are turning their noses up at me.
Mom thinks my anal glands or something otherwise unpleasant is the possible culprit. She tried to do something called "expressing" them with help from the wise people Google and you tube offered but it didn't have the explosive effect and seeming relief that other critters have. She's not sur what's she's feeling but there is a hard lump in there, almost as if I need to potty but am impacted, but I'm not impacted and poop just fine - except lately I'm doing this in the house which I've not done since I was a baby 13 years ago, the change in my behavior upsets Mom and grosses out Dad.
Would a doctor help me for cheap? Mom thought a groomer would be an idea but we looked at each other and got a little nervous, decided that was too dicey. I feel ok, and behave just like I always do, except that I don't want to raise and wag my tail very much.... I'm protective of that area, but not in a mean way.
Any ideas on how I might feel better without bankrupting mom and dad? I've had my eye on a bone larger than myself for months and I'd hate to blow my entire allowance if I didn't have to.
Thank you,
Simon "The Russian Pickle" Morgan.
(translated by Kylee Theodore Morgan, she's bi-lingual and is fluent in Russian)
- ps - I'm very tiny - only about 5 pounds and shrinking with my age, so I was relieved that Mom didn't consider the internal solution and making me hurt.
-----
Next day, Mr. Pickle went to doctor with Mr. Morgan. I was on shit cleaning duty for 3 days - so he could take one for the team, of which was not appreciated. I reminded him that 6am ass detail sucked too, so bummer. Simon went in and had his glands "expressed" of which I'm told were extremely vocal and rode in on a glittering rainbow of expressiveness. Whatever came out made Mr. Morgan gag from the words of it, he wouldn't even join our boy in the room. He was told it was thick and "very bad."
The Pickle came home with a Whole New Lease on Ass!, as the commercial goes... kinda.
Got his bone, but how to eat it?
Next day he got a haircut. Me too, and I can't claim my skills are any on better on him than they are on myself, but it's free and it makes him look much younger.
All I said was "treat"
Team A bonus photo. Team B would be Simon and myself, as we are the slower two of the pack. I SO SO SO do not miss that house. Just seeing it in the background of the below photo makes me want to go wash my hands.
I need your help. Something seems to be wrong with my bum and Mom and Dad are frowning at me a lot. I've always been a scooter when it bothers me, but lately I can't stop myself from licking my hindquarters constantly. I've not wounded myself from the licking but it sure smells bad and makes my fur matted while the female yorkies are turning their noses up at me.
Mom thinks my anal glands or something otherwise unpleasant is the possible culprit. She tried to do something called "expressing" them with help from the wise people Google and you tube offered but it didn't have the explosive effect and seeming relief that other critters have. She's not sur what's she's feeling but there is a hard lump in there, almost as if I need to potty but am impacted, but I'm not impacted and poop just fine - except lately I'm doing this in the house which I've not done since I was a baby 13 years ago, the change in my behavior upsets Mom and grosses out Dad.
Would a doctor help me for cheap? Mom thought a groomer would be an idea but we looked at each other and got a little nervous, decided that was too dicey. I feel ok, and behave just like I always do, except that I don't want to raise and wag my tail very much.... I'm protective of that area, but not in a mean way.
Any ideas on how I might feel better without bankrupting mom and dad? I've had my eye on a bone larger than myself for months and I'd hate to blow my entire allowance if I didn't have to.
Thank you,
Simon "The Russian Pickle" Morgan.
(translated by Kylee Theodore Morgan, she's bi-lingual and is fluent in Russian)
- ps - I'm very tiny - only about 5 pounds and shrinking with my age, so I was relieved that Mom didn't consider the internal solution and making me hurt.
-----
Next day, Mr. Pickle went to doctor with Mr. Morgan. I was on shit cleaning duty for 3 days - so he could take one for the team, of which was not appreciated. I reminded him that 6am ass detail sucked too, so bummer. Simon went in and had his glands "expressed" of which I'm told were extremely vocal and rode in on a glittering rainbow of expressiveness. Whatever came out made Mr. Morgan gag from the words of it, he wouldn't even join our boy in the room. He was told it was thick and "very bad."
The Pickle came home with a Whole New Lease on Ass!, as the commercial goes... kinda.
Got his bone, but how to eat it?
Next day he got a haircut. Me too, and I can't claim my skills are any on better on him than they are on myself, but it's free and it makes him look much younger.
All I said was "treat"
Team A bonus photo. Team B would be Simon and myself, as we are the slower two of the pack. I SO SO SO do not miss that house. Just seeing it in the background of the below photo makes me want to go wash my hands.
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
11:18 AM
6 Comments:
Poor Simon!! I don't even want to know what expressing is - not going anywhere near google or youtube for that, lol. But ever so happy that he is feeling tip top again.
Yep, you must come visit your Russian now that he's not such an embarrassment, or risk to your clothes.
My daughter takes her dogs to PetSmart for their grooming and duct expressing needs!
We were cowards. Maybe we saw the staff at our local petsmart and became afraid, either way when your only son gazes at you with a tear of "please mama, don't make me" you give in.
Well he certainly sounded robust and warrior like when I dropped off your birthday chotcke. The outside of your house looks great, lol. Nice door! A yard with grass!
He barked? Little KGB bastard, dats my boy! The yard BLD is fucking amazing! Once it stops shitting snow in our parts the front bush blooms a vibrant purple that I know you will be in love with. I is scared that I could kill it, as I know nothing of my plants out there but I've known this house for years and it's very well landscaped. You come over when I'm actually home goofball!
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