Handy

Fine. I'm too stubborn to say I'm in tears. Gang, I can't do the shit anymore, I hit witch finger a few bits ago and she's gone purple. I'm seriously sick of hiding it, I want it cut off, To smile and act like shit is ok for years.... it's NOT ok, last check I had was 25K to make it reasonable, but that whatever fuck is wrong with me WILL grow back. Lovely. And lets not pretend this is the only effected place.

My middle left finger has gone bitch. This upsets me deeply because it's in sister sitting next to my wedding ring, which means a huge deal to me. Mr. Morgan went on own without me to purchase said ring configuration. The sales person insisted on a square cut. He was bothered and said no, "she is not square, I want a round." Good man because no, I am not, not ever square. Right,, below...

I don't crumple fingers, what you see is what I hide for lack of wanting to really explain shit I have no explanation for. My hands have gone to shit, and it's likely involved with other organs.... wanna ask me again to reproduce? Yea, thanks, I am not definitely NOT ok with my body and it's acting out, being quiet with a silent nod works fine. I can see I'm fucked, and am greeted with oh my god~ too often, I dont blame skiing or other silly shit, honest to a fault... it's just how I seem to grow. I think that people who notice these things, think I'm curling my fingers. I wish I were. Does it hurt? You've no fucking idea. The pain I smile past deserves me a god damned award, so yes, on an and every given day... I hurt a lot but I tend to be smiley. Why do I lie.

Often enough I bite my lips instead of crying, and it shows through my lippin' stick, but indeed... yes my hand pain is a daily scream of what the fuck! At least that's what I have named it. I'm resigned, but yes, in a great deal of daily pain and have been for the last few years. Hopefully I am a great hider of such for why? Who knows... I thinks living in a state of ongoing cripple deserves a permanent bitch fest.

Mr. Morgan is keen to my screeching, and bless, but really.... is advil going to help hands that are curling in on themselves?? He's scared and tried to forget,not hard since I rarely bring it up. He knows I can no longer navigate grated cheese or opening canned items, both of which somewhat bother me because I CAN do the shit, but without injury, likely not. So on a small level he does know I'm creeping into premature yuck.

I'm not giving up. I am simply angry . I feel I need to hide my emotions because, while not blind, Mr. Morgan would become frightened if he thought things were bad bad. Not sure how to break it... but things - charitable level - have been wrong with me since the day I came out breach born (LOVE YOU MAMA! I sorry!)

- DM


Newest work. It's good, but hard for such a simple idea. It's a bridge to fucking No-where, I haven't added that yet. Mostly because I thought it might be going somewhere, but .... why. It's doing nothing, I can't question it's purpose.... but I am going to add a note t a bottom that says TO NO WHERE. Because I can and because I have to live with it.


Right so, humor me, a self song dedication. So not to worry because worry is useless in time like these.... even your girl can find a smiley face somewhere. Fucking hard, but hell ... I dig them.

-DM