You don't know it, but you NEED this

Advertisements are really starting to get to me. It could be I am being overly analytical, but I think they've gone just weird.

I keep seeing one for a maxi pad, that says "Have a happy period!" Ok, thanks. That's like saying "Enjoy your yeast infection!" Or "Embrace your urinary tract infection" Who approves this shit?

The other one on my nerves is anything "Certified Pre-Owned" why not just say what the fuck the shit is - Officially Used. It's official, someone used the shit we want you to buy.

Me and semantics, I know, and I get a good deal of greif about it, but I meet those sorts of words with a confused face of wondering why we have to be talked to in that way, but then ahhhh...... because the technique actually fucking works!

Who wants ice cream when you can have "a cold treat blended with the whipping cream of the gods and hand crafted by cupid just for YOU!"

It's a very good ploy and I've been sucked into it before, I am human, and futhermore, a greedy home-grown American, raised to want this shit. I don't know anyone who hasn't come home and at one point someone asked them "Why did you buy this?" and the answer is "because it was on sale" or "Shit, I really don't fucking know."

To hear a reply or alike of "50 pounds of litter? We don't even have a god damned cat!"

Marketing is that powerful. Happy friday.

-DM