Ching!
I’m tardy on the anniversary entry but I’ll get to it.
Today was coin day. Costume day. I have often been given a hard time for collecting coins to the extent of inconveniencing others by stopping in the middle of the street for a penny. A co-worker in my office didn’t lend me the moniker “The Raven” without good reason. It’s money! Free money and FOUND money. Foolish are those who scoff a stray coin.
In the last year I’ve collected, one might even say scouted for loose change and on occasion opened up it’s keeping place (kitty pig, it’s a piggy bank but shaped like a kitty so….) to see how it had grown, running my fingers through it like pirate booty wearing a shifty countenance as though someone would take it from me. It had not been enough, leaving the only goal to get more and palms smelling like the ballsacks of strangers by touching discarded cash. Change has on odor that is only truly appreciated when there is a lot of it in one location.
IRecently, Kitty Pig and I decided we'd saved long enough. I’d brought the bag to work this morning, denting my shoulder from it’s weight in my handbag and I stared at it off and on for the entire shift. I piled some of the quarters a few times since those are my favorite to have and the hardest for me to part with. I kept one because it was special.
At leaving time I marched my hefty sack of loot in a ziploc bag proudly into the local grocer to assault their Coinstar machine. My grin couldn’t have been wider, thrilled that I’d filled this bag with other peoples’ tossables. Coinstar saw me coming and faked a power outage. I told it not to bullshit, and get ready for some serious counting.
I don’t know if anyone has used a Coinstar but it’s like panning for gold in a sense…. One can lift a tray and happily wiggle the money down the chute as a counter indicates how much of what you are feeding it. There was a non-stop wiggle while I panned, full body wiggle.
I opened my bag, very aware that I had the look of someone to be watched for interest, even though the glee was only slight at that point. On flopping the nest egg with a sounding thump onto the machine’s counter I could feel the watching and interest grow. It was just coins, granted a LOT of them, and I likely would have watched too. Began the panning, too many coins for one meal, the tray needed a second helping. It did take me about 15 minutes to pan my gold and I think the cashier behind me was mentally projecting that I finish fast because the noise was cracking her skull. Wiggle became unstoppable and I watched the number grow to 72 dollars!
In Free. Found. Money.
Even had 50 cents left over to browse the sticker vendors and make a tidy purchase.
I’ve spent more than promised on halloween and there is yet to be a costume. Justifying a purchase on top of that would be greedy, which I am (me? All the stuff, need all the stuff to have, things to get!), however it would have been a cock move on my part to blow 50 more on costume even if it is arguably the only event of the year I care about. Enter coin stash!
Perhaps silly, but 72 dollars for nothing but bending over and snatching something is not to be discounted. AND it’s free of discussion. There will be no talks of whether 72 dollars can be afforded or not, because I just made it affordable!
Now.... what the fuck am I going to wear this year? Grandmaster HATES my Twister idea, and pretty much everything else I've thought up. The closest we have come to agreeing is going back to VC and paying for another photo then doing a dine and dash in that costume. Heh.
Imagine me bolting from the parlor, my getaway car in motion, door ajar and waiting for my adrenaline induced sprint to land me into the seat as we sped into the sunset.
-DM
ps - You didn't think you'd get an entry without at least ONE cuss word did ya? I snuck it in last minute because it looked like plain white rice. Add one word and suddenly it's rice-a-roni.
Today was coin day. Costume day. I have often been given a hard time for collecting coins to the extent of inconveniencing others by stopping in the middle of the street for a penny. A co-worker in my office didn’t lend me the moniker “The Raven” without good reason. It’s money! Free money and FOUND money. Foolish are those who scoff a stray coin.
In the last year I’ve collected, one might even say scouted for loose change and on occasion opened up it’s keeping place (kitty pig, it’s a piggy bank but shaped like a kitty so….) to see how it had grown, running my fingers through it like pirate booty wearing a shifty countenance as though someone would take it from me. It had not been enough, leaving the only goal to get more and palms smelling like the ballsacks of strangers by touching discarded cash. Change has on odor that is only truly appreciated when there is a lot of it in one location.
IRecently, Kitty Pig and I decided we'd saved long enough. I’d brought the bag to work this morning, denting my shoulder from it’s weight in my handbag and I stared at it off and on for the entire shift. I piled some of the quarters a few times since those are my favorite to have and the hardest for me to part with. I kept one because it was special.
At leaving time I marched my hefty sack of loot in a ziploc bag proudly into the local grocer to assault their Coinstar machine. My grin couldn’t have been wider, thrilled that I’d filled this bag with other peoples’ tossables. Coinstar saw me coming and faked a power outage. I told it not to bullshit, and get ready for some serious counting.
I don’t know if anyone has used a Coinstar but it’s like panning for gold in a sense…. One can lift a tray and happily wiggle the money down the chute as a counter indicates how much of what you are feeding it. There was a non-stop wiggle while I panned, full body wiggle.
I opened my bag, very aware that I had the look of someone to be watched for interest, even though the glee was only slight at that point. On flopping the nest egg with a sounding thump onto the machine’s counter I could feel the watching and interest grow. It was just coins, granted a LOT of them, and I likely would have watched too. Began the panning, too many coins for one meal, the tray needed a second helping. It did take me about 15 minutes to pan my gold and I think the cashier behind me was mentally projecting that I finish fast because the noise was cracking her skull. Wiggle became unstoppable and I watched the number grow to 72 dollars!
In Free. Found. Money.
Even had 50 cents left over to browse the sticker vendors and make a tidy purchase.
I’ve spent more than promised on halloween and there is yet to be a costume. Justifying a purchase on top of that would be greedy, which I am (me? All the stuff, need all the stuff to have, things to get!), however it would have been a cock move on my part to blow 50 more on costume even if it is arguably the only event of the year I care about. Enter coin stash!
Perhaps silly, but 72 dollars for nothing but bending over and snatching something is not to be discounted. AND it’s free of discussion. There will be no talks of whether 72 dollars can be afforded or not, because I just made it affordable!
Now.... what the fuck am I going to wear this year? Grandmaster HATES my Twister idea, and pretty much everything else I've thought up. The closest we have come to agreeing is going back to VC and paying for another photo then doing a dine and dash in that costume. Heh.
Imagine me bolting from the parlor, my getaway car in motion, door ajar and waiting for my adrenaline induced sprint to land me into the seat as we sped into the sunset.
-DM
ps - You didn't think you'd get an entry without at least ONE cuss word did ya? I snuck it in last minute because it looked like plain white rice. Add one word and suddenly it's rice-a-roni.
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
5:01 PM
4 Comments:
My vote is that you dress up as a ghost. All you have to do is grab a sheet and cut two eye holes...done. The ghost doesn't even have to be white, it could be whatever sheet you got stashed away in your closet. And the best part is you can make faces at people and they wont know :)
Hell no, the only sheets we have are the pricey ones from the wedding pot. One doesn't go cutting on that sort of thread count. Plus, I look forward to making faces and letting them be well seen. :D
I went to a Lien sale this morning and while waiting for the bidders, I walked around and collected 50 cents! 1 quarter, 2 dimes and a nickel. I was thinking of you!
I still say Michael Jackson!!
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