In her eyes.

I stopped by the vet office on the way home to hand deliver a thank you card, a very special one with a photo of Dee with her brother. I admit that I lost my shit standing there asking for her ashes, but she isn’t home yet.

All I can do is say that every lyric here…. is me. We know I lived with her in the car (lyrics), and we got by. She truly has the MOST expressive eyes you'd ever see. That girl would raise a brow at you and call you a fool and you knew exactly what she meant.

Well lol NOT ok, but dealing best we can and aren't pulling a Jonestown thing in the garage with the car on. Oddly, Mister said we'd take the little one with if we chose to do that. What the fuck? He's just not straight in his mind right now. Not to worry, it's all talk, just crazy talk. I said, you'd take Simon with????? He said with a solid nod yes.

"That's pretty fucked up."
"I know."
"Then take it back!"
"Well he'd want to come."
"Ya asshole, because he thinks he's going for a trip."

She never faltered once with trust. Fuck me I am so not getting over this. We just miss her so much, and don't even DARE to mock my upset. I've already ha one mockery about myself, my dog and my husband today. Just don't. This is holy ground and very volitile ground.



"In Your Eyes"

love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes

love, I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
the heat I see in your eyes