Crazy Game of Poker

So uh…. I was fired. 6 years, shit I’d have taken the phone call instead of getting up and making the effort to get ready and open up the office the usual 30 minutes earlier than required.. But wait, I don’t have a phone. Since I no longer have a job, Kylee now HAS to get one to replace what she destroyed so that I can return any prospective calls.

It’s been an interesting day and all I can say is that I feel like garbage. I tried to nap, couldn’t. So I cleaned (all this obviously after going to the unemployment and job hunt with instant fervor) the house and have pretty much made myself physically ill. I have never been fired, my emotions are bouncing like a good game of ping-pong.

The initial response, oh fuck you! 6 years I have worked hard and ya know what? People don’t LIKE YOU! Guess who buffered that shit and never said a word about the nasty words said to me about you? Who covered for you and defended you? My former boss was bad mouthed QUITE often to me because I’m actually approachable, and I mean QUITE often. Did I mention QUITE? People liked me, she didn’t and I hope they get very honest with her, I’m clearly not in the house to tell them to sack off anymore. My point is, that and SO many other things were not recognized. I don’t have a dire need to say “by the way I did this” on any given day. I never told her the shit talk said about her, because I don't suck and even if she did it was still my job to give reasons why she may have been a crotch.

Anyhow, I’m loose.

I will say I left with dignity, mostly. My hands were trembling as I gave back the keys, my mouth snapping shut when she asked “Is that all of your things?” after a mere five minutes of collecting 6 years of being settled into a work station. On my tongue were all of the words I wanted to give her for how many times she threw tantrums or actual objects. Throwing a shoe at me a few weeks ago really was not ok, but I showed up the next day to be as inefficient as ever. I’ve had most of the day to chill my brain and I am ok, just need someone with money to take me into the fold, it’s not like I have nothing to offer….. I guess she just didn’t think so. Good luck on the website and newsletter for starters. The other intricate things she never knew I did, it just went through like and oiled machine. Have fun. See if whoever she has planned gets it done in two hours.

I’m trying to be positive and think that a new start, good environment, safe, friendly, will help me drop the negative mood I’ve held for especially the last year. I’d been unhappy and all have known this. I feel slighted because she is very wrong that I didn’t work or pull my weight. I pulled mine and pitched in too many times to other departments, and I never minded. You work where work needs working.

To end, it was a mistake to make me leave, although calculated, and probably because I screamed at her in retort to her being …. Her. Those not related to her won’t readily understand, but she did, DID DID treat me poorly and spoke to me with displaced anger very often. So one says to self… Ooooookay? But it does hit a boiling point, and my boss was not able to take the criticism. This is why I was fired. I have logs of how hard I worked and I wish I’d sat on my ass if I thought it wasn’t something we could repair and move forward on. She refused to even look at my logs, what a waste of time when she had her mind made up so long before. I’m not bitter anymore, still a bit annoyed, but hello to life.

Anyone hiring with a pole? Whatever the case, the last 6 years were a Crazy Game of Poker, best to all. I’m not done writing this all the time, so comment me up…. New adventures. (great song, listen up! Revolution!)

-DM