Being an Elf

Mr. Morgan left earlier yesterday to check on a football bet and when he came home I peeked out the window, as Kylee is very interested in ripping her stitches out from excitement. I saw him wrestling with something from the ass end of his car, wearing a the grin of the Hamburgerler. Did he win the football team itself?

No in fact on his way home he drove past a piece of …. Whatever this thing is: (preface – Honey, hide the goods… this is for blog…. /tuck tuck)



It calls itself a Cardiomaster 3000 and was free to any taker. Meaning “get this piece of shit away from me.” He was all to happy to oblige.

Kylee is too much of a ham (where does she get it from???) and wanted to be part of the score.

I cringed at it entering the house as we only recently unloaded four or five dead machines. This one entertains me, not because it was free and picked off the street without a blink to looking overly enthusiastic over another mans’ garbage, but more because when used… it frankly looks like the training grounds for porn stars. I’ve never seen such a thing requesting more forward thrust. I damn near went and got poppin’ corn to watch his workout.

Other news! My Christmas crafts are coming along nicely, and they are really awesome even if my studio smells faintly like a burned factory. If you don’t get one this year, it’s because I’m short listed or too broke to ship to you. Also, as previously mentioned…. I don’t have a fucking glue gun. Ok, I DO but the sticks are too big for it so I light a damn candle (innovation!) and melt each piece of the pain in the ass pieces, hoping to god my shitty hands don’t say “oops” and drop a melting stick onto bare flesh – which has happened. I have a pretty scar that I call Halloween 2008 on my ankle.

Don’t miss the Kylee’s…. the last two entries prove quite the mental strain on this house. Can link here for pictures and updates.

Until later. If you want a Santa Pack, feel free to plead your cause, good or bad, for consideration, time is short and quantities limited. Entertain me. Also, tell me your hopes for gifts this year. I've asked for a metal lunchbox with a thermos. It's a fairly good lock that I'll get it. God bless ebay.

"What do you like?"
"Metal lunch box with thermos."
"Any.... particular theme?"
"Well I like girly shit. Hello Kitty, Barbie, anything pinkish... I won't be embarrassed to carry it."

And that is way too true. Once I have work, it's a bold ass move to steal food from a metal lunch box. This is my intent, plus who else has a super groovy metal lunch box? Suckers!

Below a small dedication to Mr. Morgan who is very stressed over our money situation, and has really not given me a hard time about not being able to land work ( a little bit, but from frustration). I couldn't ask for more from a partner, he astounds me every day. I could be lewd and say I must give one hell of a blow job (wait didn't I just say it?) but lol no.... he's just truly awesome, considerate, patient, god KNOWS forgiving, and mostly... very supportive of my being out of my brain without work. The lyrics speak my sentiment, and after what seems like a lot of years but to many is still a baby state, I couldn't be more in love, and infatuated, with anyone. That's pretty neat and doesn't go without notice. He always mentions my art being impressive, and every day he tells me I'm beautiful when I know it's an absolute lie, I do have a mirror these days. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? How could one not melt to someone who truly sees past the bad times and ugly days. The man inspires me, especially when I feel down and he'll say something to remind me that I am great with a "pffft" if I think otherwise. Pain in my ass sometimes yes, but ... he's my rock and I'd cling to it if we were sinking. So... to him.

-DM