Lot Lizards

Ever hear of the term Lot Lizard and presume "speed bump." I was into my teens before I was informed that by and large that is not the intended definition, which was followed by what it did really mean then? No shit? Well, who knew.

Another round of "you steal it... you wear it." Couresty of Kylee's Playground.

Is that yours?

Or yours? Even though he stole nothing.

I would have made her wear Mister's shotrs but I faltered at how. I took this photo only to prove she does in fact steal. He swears I faked the scene. Sure, because I'm out to lynch the puppy, pitchfork in hand and demanding a refund because I never signed an agreement to purchase a theif. She takes shit, for the sake of it.... I recently found myself in a similar predicament, so.... no punishment.

Dueling bones. /insert the song.

And finally .... my Lindsay Lohan doll. She has more shit than I do. It was a joke - of sorts- on Perez that said doll could be bought for like 4 bucks, free shipping. I thought at the time, well hot damn! Will coke be snuggled in the packaging? /as I finish the paperwork. I bought the Lindsay Doll and it sits here, staring at me all day quite nervous. I have neices who might like it but something about Lindsay seems permanent. I would part with her for a good reason, but would need to be very entertaining, as she got a ton of gear. Where is she going? Who needs that much shit when there hasn't been a fucking movie for years? The damn thing entertains me is all I know.

Finally..... quotes from the Morgan House.

"Taco pie"
"Okay, I can make that for you."
"I'll grate the cheese since it all bugs your hands."
"Thanks."
"Meat is all you, I can't cook meat."
"Really? Why?"
"Because it's a dead animal."
"You.. don't mind eating it."
"I can forget."
"You are so not serious..."
"I am dead serious, I can't do the shit."
"Ok... I'll cook your cow."

Sigh of relief from Mister.

At what point my husband went really weird, I don't know. We agree that we don't like eating meat but we are FAR from Veggies. Except chicken. We fight about that a bit. Kill every last mother fucking pecky ass chicken as far as I'm concerned. He is bothered about any killings. It's interesting.

Other offering of conversation:

"I had iguana's." (sp???) he says.
:On purpose?"
"Yes."
"I was whapped really hard once with a tail because I hadn't seen one sitting on top of the couch totally creepy and quiet."
"They do that."
"It's not very nice."
"Well it's what they do. I also had a cameloen and a gecko."
"How did all this work out for ya?"
"They all died... it was cleaning day and my mom was vaccuming and set the cameleon by the window and went to work on cleaning the gecko's cage. She sucked the gecko into the tube and the cameloen jumped out the window."
"Ya don't say."
"We got the gecko back but not good for the other."

Can I at this point just note that the cameloen likely SAW the vaccum incident and said fuck this I'll take my chances?

Ending, I asked what of the giant .... eaty thing, iguana yes. It just died. That is how simple he said it as I scooped all animals from his sight with a very leepy and apprehensive glare. It just? Seemingly so. Ha, he'd not let harm come to our dogs but insight of past pets was priceless.

- DM