Just the FDA
I fetched The Package.
Even the Fed Ex clerk, a very sour lady with a look on her face that made me presume she had teenage children who had not behaved the night before, commented on the package as if HIV results were inside. So I frowned back at her and grappled my package in a very snatchy way.
It was from the FDA. Alas..... the Government needs me to serve a higher calling! Elation, the moment I've been waiting for!
Not really. They want to know exactly how I lost my vision and the letter carried an eerie sense of "we know some shit you don't" tone. I am tempted to ask for a complimentary FDA nametag and labcoat, but it could be greedy. That doesn't mean that I won't however.
I replied to what they asked, not entirely sure what they were getting at because of how they phrased some things. For example.... instead of ....
"Do you really think this product lended a hand to your blindness."
They said things more akin to:
"How angry are you that they blinded you and insulted your dog"
Leading little things with a lot of initialling. I did all their little tricky questions, and I am not trying to get anything from anyone, other than if the product was fucked and wasn't labled "FUCKED" in the market isles, I would like other buyers to not be blind before their time. Be honest... call it FUCKED IN A CAN. Just be honest to the consumer, we aren't asking much. Although I wouldn't mind my $2.99 back.
I am curious what all they are up to, and not entirely certain anything will come of it - after all these are the people that deem it totally okay for ten rat turds per half cup of coffee is legal.
Anyway. So that was it. Nothing terribly fun or spy-like. It's only fair that if we live long enough, that we go blind glacefully, slowly losing crispness on the spouses we've asked to get out of our sight, and our kitchens, for the last 50 years.
-DM
Even the Fed Ex clerk, a very sour lady with a look on her face that made me presume she had teenage children who had not behaved the night before, commented on the package as if HIV results were inside. So I frowned back at her and grappled my package in a very snatchy way.
It was from the FDA. Alas..... the Government needs me to serve a higher calling! Elation, the moment I've been waiting for!
Not really. They want to know exactly how I lost my vision and the letter carried an eerie sense of "we know some shit you don't" tone. I am tempted to ask for a complimentary FDA nametag and labcoat, but it could be greedy. That doesn't mean that I won't however.
I replied to what they asked, not entirely sure what they were getting at because of how they phrased some things. For example.... instead of ....
"Do you really think this product lended a hand to your blindness."
They said things more akin to:
"How angry are you that they blinded you and insulted your dog"
Leading little things with a lot of initialling. I did all their little tricky questions, and I am not trying to get anything from anyone, other than if the product was fucked and wasn't labled "FUCKED" in the market isles, I would like other buyers to not be blind before their time. Be honest... call it FUCKED IN A CAN. Just be honest to the consumer, we aren't asking much. Although I wouldn't mind my $2.99 back.
I am curious what all they are up to, and not entirely certain anything will come of it - after all these are the people that deem it totally okay for ten rat turds per half cup of coffee is legal.
Anyway. So that was it. Nothing terribly fun or spy-like. It's only fair that if we live long enough, that we go blind glacefully, slowly losing crispness on the spouses we've asked to get out of our sight, and our kitchens, for the last 50 years.
-DM
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
6:38 PM
3 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Your are Nice. And so is your site! Maybe you need some more pictures. Will return in the near future.
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This site is one of the best I have ever seen, wish I had one like this.
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