Signed.... Anonymous

I would like to say that I came home from work today and did something worthy of a Nobel Prize, or at minimum a standing ovation. I think in reality all that my after work events could muster is a "holy shit!"

Ya know, I thought about solving world hunger and how to fix the ozone and shit, but when push came to shove I found myself crotch up with a cigarette dangling from my lower lip, kept company by the biggest glass of cheap wine I've ever seen and a safety pin in my grasp about to actually stab a relentless ingrown hair. Yep, I'm totally sexy.

Gross as it sounds and IS, it's a fact of life and a choice. Hairy 70's bush or the occassional ingrown, so deal with it and be glad you aren't sitting where I am right now with an inner thigh asking what it ever did to me to deserve the needle. I didn't have a good answer other than to threaten it with a bigger needle next time it asked me for french fries.

To answer the question I know I will get emails about..... yes are you fucking stupid? Of course it god damned hurt, the first option to relief is not the needle, it is the last alternative before chewing off my own leg. So don't ask stupid questions, ask me something more interesting.

Bosslady was ... herself today. Not too horrible on me other than a snippy "do it right before you ask me to sign things" because I am after all on this planet to do things wrong for her irritation pleasure. She was pretty harsh on our bookkeeper, I think I heard her say something along the lines of "A.... as in alphabet... apple.... do you know how to find A?"

For her misery and good way of handling shit, I made a little tape with one of my new halloween props. If it's slow or whatever just click this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0dS6tjUxwA&eurl and go straight to youtube.

It's meant to be attached to one of my corpses and shall be, but nothing wrong for finding a second purpose in things. I think I have racked additional point with my neighbors because I had to play that song about ten times before I was satisfied, but fuck them, they got married to the Married with Children theme song in their back yard, so lets not be calling the kettle ghetto now.

Of note ..... I swear the hand makers are the same people who are manufacturing vibrators. Two switches, I get to pick which direction the finger turns depending on if I feel clockwise or counter. That's not entirely common on halloween props. I'm totally going to dig through the trash and see if the company is the same because if so....... that's fucking genious. Way to corner the market on anything that moves. I would be very impressed.

All for today.

-DM