How is my driving?
"Thank you for calling Charter Communications, my name is Anthony, how can I help you."
"Well in lots of ways, but for now I'm calling because this number was listed on the back of a van asking how his driving was. I thought you should know."
"Yes maam, do you have the indentification number from the vehicle?"
"Vaguely. WW027, or something like that. I'm dyslexic, so it's hard to say."
"Uh...." sound of keyboard movement. "I would need that number to report your problem."
"Oh, no no it's not a problem."
"Maam?"
"I was behind the van for quite a while and the driver didn't once act out. I was calling to tell you that. He should get a sticker or something."
/laughter (actually pretty much laughter from him the whole time)
"Ok well um...."
"Seriously, we were stuck behind one of those buses that aren't really a bus, but the small town version of not walking.... and it stopped every two blocks for a long time. No one got on or off but it stopped. A lot. Your driver did not once ram the bus."
"That's good."
"Yes, it was quite commendable. I looked in my rearview and the fellow behind me wanted to ram me into the van, thus ramming the bus. I'm sure of it."
"Oh.... well ..."
"Ok Anthony, that's really all I needed today. Thank you."
-DM
This is what happens when I get a weird pain and convince myself into a panic attack on a scale of writing things on my hand. I think I once had appendicitis on my hand for two weeks, knowing that no one can start an IV on me without seeing it and mentioning my epiphony of self diagnosis to those who can then not let me die. I've not hand written for a couple of years, but it's a funny tidbit many people probably didn't know about me. There is no dealing with me during a panic attack freak out so I am forced to call strangers who are being paid to talk to my crazy ass. It's all rather tragic, poor people.
"Well in lots of ways, but for now I'm calling because this number was listed on the back of a van asking how his driving was. I thought you should know."
"Yes maam, do you have the indentification number from the vehicle?"
"Vaguely. WW027, or something like that. I'm dyslexic, so it's hard to say."
"Uh...." sound of keyboard movement. "I would need that number to report your problem."
"Oh, no no it's not a problem."
"Maam?"
"I was behind the van for quite a while and the driver didn't once act out. I was calling to tell you that. He should get a sticker or something."
/laughter (actually pretty much laughter from him the whole time)
"Ok well um...."
"Seriously, we were stuck behind one of those buses that aren't really a bus, but the small town version of not walking.... and it stopped every two blocks for a long time. No one got on or off but it stopped. A lot. Your driver did not once ram the bus."
"That's good."
"Yes, it was quite commendable. I looked in my rearview and the fellow behind me wanted to ram me into the van, thus ramming the bus. I'm sure of it."
"Oh.... well ..."
"Ok Anthony, that's really all I needed today. Thank you."
-DM
This is what happens when I get a weird pain and convince myself into a panic attack on a scale of writing things on my hand. I think I once had appendicitis on my hand for two weeks, knowing that no one can start an IV on me without seeing it and mentioning my epiphony of self diagnosis to those who can then not let me die. I've not hand written for a couple of years, but it's a funny tidbit many people probably didn't know about me. There is no dealing with me during a panic attack freak out so I am forced to call strangers who are being paid to talk to my crazy ass. It's all rather tragic, poor people.
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
4:49 PM
2 Comments:
I think they probably appreciate it...I know I would!
Whether or not you were in full scale panic, I love that you called to complement a driver. They set up a line just so random people who probably drive like shit anyway, can call and get some poor joe whose late for an appointment fired. That's the only reason they set up this line, to pander to the complainers of the world. And you called to do just the opposite. That's beautiful.
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