Thank you, come again.

I actually almost made it all the way to work before I saw THIS:
Attached to my windshield. No it's not a jellyfish.

I mentioned this to Moon upon arrival and she gagged away mentioning it appeared "moist" Nice touch. Moist it might have been a while back as it's nasty dregs have dried to my fucking glass in streaks of spillage.

Between my car being shot at and now being the receptacle for perverts, I'm not sure if I should be proud of the metro's popularity or tell it to stop attracting the wrong type of friends.

My residence is private. That nasty pouch of filth didn't come in with the wind. Someone walked onto my property and flopped that onto my car.

And I got to drive around with it all day, waving to people "Yep... hi there.... sure is.... it's a condom. They sure go sticky in the sun huh?"

As I waited to get pulled over - and I shit you not I made a joke at work before I left saying that smelling like yesterdays hangover with a nut-sack gliding on the front window like a ribbon wouldn't be the best of scenarios "Oh no officer, that's a stray, it's not mine."

I passed 4 patrol cars on the way home, each of which I nodded warmly as if to say"It's a rubber. Everything is fine then boom... rubber on the car. Whatcha gonna do. "

While we were all disgusted, eneryone got their digi cams to look and preserve it. So really who is worse, the degenerate who keeps the metro fan club alive or my friends?

Honestly, I draw the line on things like that. I tried to poke it off with a stick, it's melded. I have never done a harder rain dance than today. You foul, disgusting mother fuckers. Shame isn't even good enough for you.
Ugly face for you.

-DM