Astounded
Delilah went back to doctor today because the bleeding was just embarrassing. Ok, she went because the bleeding was concerning.
The doctor looked and agreed it was not getting any better, and wanted to take her into the “back” section for another view. They also had never seen shit like our girl managed to grow in such a short time. I reminded him she was that special.
He recommended surgery, for 7:30 am tomorrow and I teared up asking every question in the world, yet his patience and kindness never once faltered during my non-stop berating of “How do I know you are not killing my dog!” I know this has been the topic of my last several posts, but she has been in my life and part of my family for over a decade. She is also the only animal I have ever coveted so much that I was willing to risk jail time to steal her if I didn’t get her.
Mr. Morgan had to leave the room when they came in for pre-op blood, from the neck. The neck? Dayum. She’s a good girl and having seen some of our friends, she probably thought it might be heroin and raised her neck willingly. Jest.
In comes the happy lady with the estimate of one thousand dollars to extract the alien from Delilah’s ear. At this time Delilah stands up, shakes her head against the wall and I fuck… you… not…. That god damned giant ear tumor flopped onto the vet room floor. Flopped in slow motion no less.
Billing lady backed up, Mr. Morgan began to heave heavily and had to leave the room when Delilah began to eat it. I ran interference and told billing lady GET DOCTOR! while throwing myself between the bloody object of stench and the dog trying to consume it.
Why is it always me on these tasks? Can no one jump into a situation? She was about to eat the evidence! We need that for biopsy and she had saved us a good deal of money by lopping it on her own.
Proof positive that she speaks english. She heard “anesthesia” “laser removal” and boom, there it was on the floor like magic. Mr. Morgan thinks she heard the amount of the bill and said “Fuck that, here is your discount.”
That’s why we love her.
She is not in the clear, the flopped … membrane? …. needs to be poked at and we know if she’s in danger after all. She’s in fucking debt, I know that. Here is to having a dog that managed to stun an office who see hundreds of animals each day. I own the Tumor Tosser, and I’m proud.
-DM
The doctor looked and agreed it was not getting any better, and wanted to take her into the “back” section for another view. They also had never seen shit like our girl managed to grow in such a short time. I reminded him she was that special.
He recommended surgery, for 7:30 am tomorrow and I teared up asking every question in the world, yet his patience and kindness never once faltered during my non-stop berating of “How do I know you are not killing my dog!” I know this has been the topic of my last several posts, but she has been in my life and part of my family for over a decade. She is also the only animal I have ever coveted so much that I was willing to risk jail time to steal her if I didn’t get her.
Mr. Morgan had to leave the room when they came in for pre-op blood, from the neck. The neck? Dayum. She’s a good girl and having seen some of our friends, she probably thought it might be heroin and raised her neck willingly. Jest.
In comes the happy lady with the estimate of one thousand dollars to extract the alien from Delilah’s ear. At this time Delilah stands up, shakes her head against the wall and I fuck… you… not…. That god damned giant ear tumor flopped onto the vet room floor. Flopped in slow motion no less.
Billing lady backed up, Mr. Morgan began to heave heavily and had to leave the room when Delilah began to eat it. I ran interference and told billing lady GET DOCTOR! while throwing myself between the bloody object of stench and the dog trying to consume it.
Why is it always me on these tasks? Can no one jump into a situation? She was about to eat the evidence! We need that for biopsy and she had saved us a good deal of money by lopping it on her own.
Proof positive that she speaks english. She heard “anesthesia” “laser removal” and boom, there it was on the floor like magic. Mr. Morgan thinks she heard the amount of the bill and said “Fuck that, here is your discount.”
That’s why we love her.
She is not in the clear, the flopped … membrane? …. needs to be poked at and we know if she’s in danger after all. She’s in fucking debt, I know that. Here is to having a dog that managed to stun an office who see hundreds of animals each day. I own the Tumor Tosser, and I’m proud.
-DM
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
5:12 PM
15 Comments:
been buzy so i apparently had alot to catch up on.... how long for the biopsy results? did she shake her head alot before? sometimes they can burst a vessel in their ears from shaking their head. wow, cant imagine the comic/relief events at the vets. gotta love her.
xo
Should have results on Monday. No one had ever seen anything like it. I woke up often last night wondering if it was just a dream or had actually happened before my eyes. I'd have grabbed the camera, but between a gagging husband, frightened nurse and alien pod licking dog, I had no time. Plus who wants to see that except ME. -DM
DAMN!! I work with adults who piss and shit themselves on a regular basis and I would have to say that is the sickest think I have heard in a while! I can just see my bro gagging :)
Yeah he left the room and I am pretty sure I heard vomit rising in his throat. As Moon said this morning, me telling the story in person is a lot worse than what I was able to type. He collected himself though and came back and said "I think she just saved us a grand." -DM
I own the Tumor Tosser, and I’m proud.
But will you get to own the tumor? Thats the sort of memorabilia you love. could probably top my second brain.
Keep us updated.
I would keep it if I could. I'd jar it, seriously to prove it happened. Mr. Morgan thinks that is the most disgusting idea ever, but /shrug. -DM
a tumor in a jar... i have to admit the vulgarity that it brought to mind was that old joke about the guy eating the jar of "cherries" at the whore house.
muahahahaha!
I almost "spilled" myself when I read this! I literally shouted "OH MY GOD!" so much so that I frightened my husband!
I have to ask - what did it look like? Just a pink bloody pile of tissue? Wow, I say!
That is so hilarious that she dislodged it herself!
You don't want to really know.
(it had tentacles... roots?) thats all I can give for free.
Imagine what a dog must think when you keep it from doing something as fundamentally (to them) appropriate as eating its nasty, tentacled tumor? Poor Delilah's probably still thinking, "why? WHY?"
All I have to say is that I'm very glad I waited until after lunch to read this post.
Lol Bld... she likely is still wondering why, saying "but but.... it WAS mine after all!" You wouldn't believe how night and day she is since it's emancipation. Ear is clear, clean, albiet mildly annoyed but that's normal for her. Fucking amazing shit. I wish I could describe the "tentacles" in further detail, as they were truly jaw dropping and very much a surprise.
so, she is completely better??? if so, that is ONE GOOD GIRL. i would say she deserves a new toy for what she saved you.
another thought, could be that that was her halloween costume since the day is approaching. lol
alien dog.
xo
She still has grit in it, both ears always have since she was born - it's the sherpei skin in her, but bleeding stopped immediately. Now just hoping the test comes back ok. It's SO expensive, and not that we aren't prepared to absorb costs (that's what owning a pet gets you) but it would be very nice to stop this fiasco at the cust 500+ mark. -DM
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