Jill, Jane, Jamie? Who ARE you

I forgot to mention something until I was busy writing to Prada, did I say busy? because I meant "where the fuck WERE you." Prada would have handed a biting statement that would turn me purple, I just know my girl wouldn't fail me. At the supper on monday, my step mother in law introduced me to everyone as Jill, because.... you know... that's not my name but rather belongs to Mr. Morgans ex-girlfriend of, hm, over 5 years ago? She still doesn't know who the fuck I am, I met Jill once and being slipped up is highly offensive - once you've met Jill. I may just refer to step mother in law as "pain in my ass" or "chain smoking satan" and introduce her as such, but then I'd have to be actually introducing her as if I cared.

The Jill incodent had been very entertaining to me. She came to Mr. Morgan's apartment, I was there, and it set in that when he had said "Take your shit out of my house" that he meant it. She did not seem to think he was being serious and a possible mend was in route. But there I was on "her" couch and she went postal. Declared she was taking everything including the toilet paper. And.. bitch did. They even went to arguing over who had picked what from a garage sale. I sat with great interest.

It then got heated. Greedy "taking all the shit" Jill went and got male folk to be intimidating as if Mr. Morgan was stopping her from removing anything. We went to playing a card game on the floor since she'd scalped all the furniture. The male folk decided to provoke Mr. Morgan as if he'd given two shits about her collecting her crap, enter angry girlfriend screaming how he had mistreated Jill and she was in the parking lot crying. All I can say is what I'm told - and the whore was coming home smelling like sack, when she came home at all for months.... so like .. bye? I'll take over the good man you silly bitch (already had), get your shit, no one cares. Then I found my dumb ass in the middle of a very overweight (ready to bust my ass) girl and two men twixt Mr. Morgan. I flailed and made a fuck load of noise, which normlly chases off everything including local wildlife.

Her friend then keyed the piss out of his car and I thought I might need bail money. He rarely loses his shit to the point of voilence and he wasn't altogether wrong to want to choke her.

So... apparently to some people I am this crazy crying, gold digging and cock smelling bitch. This is why I take offense, yet held my composure respectively. I told her it was ok, I know my own name, but with retrospect to the reference of that person, not cool. What could I do? Food fight? I fantasised about it, but subsided to send her bullshit keychain in the mail and sign it Jill. Then smile.



-DM