Ass to Mouth

It's my own fault, but I think I have a tooth abcess. I'm praying to the Motrin Gods that it just got pissed and will settle down on it's own. Either way, it's very creepy to have something in head swelling and bitching. I'm going to bribe a dentist tomorrow if I have to should it continue.

From ass to mouth I am just gross. The tooth flared up on me late into the work week, around the time I found an ingrown ..... /ahem, down there, and by fucking with it to try and get it gone.... it's turned into something the size of a golf ball in half all around my exit area.

Luck is just kissing me this week. I can't really eat, lest annoy my mouth.... or take a shit, lest annoy my asshole. Interesting. I can't decide what's worse, the gasp when a dentist opens my mouth, or having to show my ass lump to a doctor. I don't have green teeth, but I certainly have teeth that clearly show signs of fillings after fillings and I'm missing two because I could not afford to save them. The one I'm losing now has 2,500 into it by way of root canal and.. whatever else they do. Reminds me why I'm not sorry for swiping that mouth mirror!

I admit it's my fault for the condition of my teeth and also remind myself that it's it's stupid be be embarrassed to open my mouth for someone to tell me exactly how fucked I am.

I am a cash cow - I should be walking into that office with a wide open jaw, checkbook in my hand and a thank you letter from his kid for tutition that semester.

-DM