Release: Blind Bat Gets Sight
Will have glasses in 3- 5 days. It went very well. When I made the appointment, I did so with the place I last attended because they had my former insurance information and I am hoping I can float by and deal with the outstanding charges later.
The appointment was with who I thought was the doctor I got into a fight with 3 years ago. Completely different story, all I know is he wanted to hassle me, so I hassled him back. Ok I know more than that but ... later for it.
The man walked in and I blurted with a wide grin, “you have hair!” He smiled and replied that in fact he did have hair that he was rather pleased with. It was not the same man, I was wrong!! This man was nice, and accepted my jokes with great enthusiasm. He also gave me a very entertaining, and thank god SHORT exam. We made it clear from the get go that I’d done this before and so had he, the lack of formalities sped shit along nicely.
"Are you comfortable?"
"As comfortable as one gets with their chin on a plate and forehead against something that might trap me."
"I completely understand." as he giggled into checking the damage. (Do understand I 100% talk this way. It's not fluffed for writing purposes.)
He proudly announced that my eye bones are great! I have scarring to my left cornea, which … duh? I am well aware of, but he is putting some anti-refraction junk into the lens for me and he swears it’s going to make a huge difference, otherwise my eye bones are perfect in every way. I told him I loved him. He said he loved me too and we skipped hand in hand to the frame selection portion of my visit. Before we parted he said that my happy noises made his day. I thought to wonder how grumpy his oher patients were. Tell me that my eyes are fixable and yes I will express a noise that I cannot articulate. Suffice, it's a very gleeful sound.
The assistant came over and asked what sort of frame I was into.
“Nerdy.” I had to point to a sample pair so she could understand. “Think librarian and condescending.”
“Let’s see……”
While I hate glasses, when I wear them I require a pair of frames that ride low enough on my nose that I can gaze up and portray the full effect of being annoyed for interruption, my right eyebrow raised as if to say "yes?". I found a pair I was cool with and she made an audible snort.
“What? Do they look bad to you?”
“Not if you like Ralph Lauren.” And walked off to click up my bill.
/pause. I didn’t pick them by name! Then I thought to say, heeeeeey fuck you, maybe I DO like him…. I think? Ralph who? Lol. All I knew at the time that I grabbed them was that out of all of the options, they fit my face the best. I guess my face has a designer price on it. Nothing we can afford, but we are going to. Remember Mr. Morgan is the one who forced me to go. I wasn’t keen to the fact that Mr. Lauren was into eyewear, go figure. At any matter they are purple, nerdy as fuck and almost paid for, even if the assistant thinks I’m a silly bitch for choosing something she found impractical.
Being that I have to wear them, and her choice being something that felt heavy as an anvil on my head, she needed to hush up and do her portion of the transaction. Her choice had my head hanging towards my boobs, and my wobbly neck was having none of it. My fingers wiggled in a dismissing way to express this. I’ll post photos of my blind shame of having to wear corrections once I get them. So help me god if Kylee so much as looks at them.
-DM
The appointment was with who I thought was the doctor I got into a fight with 3 years ago. Completely different story, all I know is he wanted to hassle me, so I hassled him back. Ok I know more than that but ... later for it.
The man walked in and I blurted with a wide grin, “you have hair!” He smiled and replied that in fact he did have hair that he was rather pleased with. It was not the same man, I was wrong!! This man was nice, and accepted my jokes with great enthusiasm. He also gave me a very entertaining, and thank god SHORT exam. We made it clear from the get go that I’d done this before and so had he, the lack of formalities sped shit along nicely.
"Are you comfortable?"
"As comfortable as one gets with their chin on a plate and forehead against something that might trap me."
"I completely understand." as he giggled into checking the damage. (Do understand I 100% talk this way. It's not fluffed for writing purposes.)
He proudly announced that my eye bones are great! I have scarring to my left cornea, which … duh? I am well aware of, but he is putting some anti-refraction junk into the lens for me and he swears it’s going to make a huge difference, otherwise my eye bones are perfect in every way. I told him I loved him. He said he loved me too and we skipped hand in hand to the frame selection portion of my visit. Before we parted he said that my happy noises made his day. I thought to wonder how grumpy his oher patients were. Tell me that my eyes are fixable and yes I will express a noise that I cannot articulate. Suffice, it's a very gleeful sound.
The assistant came over and asked what sort of frame I was into.
“Nerdy.” I had to point to a sample pair so she could understand. “Think librarian and condescending.”
“Let’s see……”
While I hate glasses, when I wear them I require a pair of frames that ride low enough on my nose that I can gaze up and portray the full effect of being annoyed for interruption, my right eyebrow raised as if to say "yes?". I found a pair I was cool with and she made an audible snort.
“What? Do they look bad to you?”
“Not if you like Ralph Lauren.” And walked off to click up my bill.
/pause. I didn’t pick them by name! Then I thought to say, heeeeeey fuck you, maybe I DO like him…. I think? Ralph who? Lol. All I knew at the time that I grabbed them was that out of all of the options, they fit my face the best. I guess my face has a designer price on it. Nothing we can afford, but we are going to. Remember Mr. Morgan is the one who forced me to go. I wasn’t keen to the fact that Mr. Lauren was into eyewear, go figure. At any matter they are purple, nerdy as fuck and almost paid for, even if the assistant thinks I’m a silly bitch for choosing something she found impractical.
Being that I have to wear them, and her choice being something that felt heavy as an anvil on my head, she needed to hush up and do her portion of the transaction. Her choice had my head hanging towards my boobs, and my wobbly neck was having none of it. My fingers wiggled in a dismissing way to express this. I’ll post photos of my blind shame of having to wear corrections once I get them. So help me god if Kylee so much as looks at them.
-DM
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
8:07 PM
4 Comments:
Ahhhh coming over to the dark side. Name brands tend to just call out, you were caught under the spell. :)
I can't wait to see you in your new glasses!! Yes, keep them very high from Kylee indeed lol!
She really does talk that way (though I suspect the skipping was literary).
You always meet the strangest people. I have begged the glasses receptionists for opinions and advise on frames to no avail. They never want to risk pissing me off or steering me toward moderate specs, perhaps. And you get one not only willing, but snorting as well!
It's this podunk town - has to be.
YAY the comments are back =D
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