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Kylee and Simon are playing a new game. “How stupid will Mama look.”

I got my new glasses and went to the bathroom, armed with scissors and an agenda. I looked over after the initial whacking of three inches to see both heads perched in the doorway with extreme interest.

Says the Russian “She is gonna fuck up.” and gave a solid nod to the Muslim.
She replied “Huh?”
He gave an eyeball indication my way and she said “Oh, I understand you now, and I agree.”
The Russian said back “Huh?”

Language barriers abound in case de morgan. I hacked it off, about 4 inches worth…. Sounds weak but that is really a lot. I heard my hair scream “ahhhh!!” in glee that the weight was gone. I squinted for a minute because first off, I have NO hair. What is there to elate about? Shave me bald, weigh it and I doubt it clocks in at even half of a pound. I don’t even need to get old to go all short haired.

I let them watch and talk shit, I cut my own hair all the time because face it – is a good cut free? No, and my schedule especially lately doesn’t carry a “gratis…. because we like you!” banner. You’d be amazed what a curling iron can hide. I do know how to layer my hair, this came at the very cheap price of getting a former hair dresser drunk and asking the right shit at the right time, being “need a refill?” Bam boom and I can layer hair that would normally cost 50 bones. I remember thinking “you went to school for this? You grapple it and snip snap.” But there really is an art to it. Wrong, not art, technique. Sorry to any hairdressers reading. If I can do it at home, sweetie you blew a lot of money. And I don’t even use that flow-bot (as seen on TV) shit.

My camera is full on memory or I’d post a pic, soon for it though, it’s not special. Simply shorter and what I normally look like when not tardy.

In other news, I have an interview Monday!!!!! They sent me an email interview, saying that it’s how they best work. I thought, oh shit – want me to write instead of talk? Don’t make it all easy! These fingers are set to yap. Then they said they were looking for grammar and what nots. For real? Hm ok. Below is what I did to their email thingy and I was let know immediately that everyone was laughing. But does making someone laugh equate to being qualified? Either way I think I did very well. Cheers!!!

-DM

1. What does team player mean to you? Would you define yourself as a team player? Give an example why?

A team player is the one in the uniform. Joking aside, a team player has the ability to interact and excel in interpersonal relations. I define myself as a team player because I am very versitile and can jump in to help other departments as needed to complete a task.

1. Define “Customer Service Orientated”

Customer Service Oriented means fully understanding the needs of the client, being personable, approachable and setting the grounds for repeat business by remembering client names and making yourself rememberable as well by friendly efficient service.

1. Please describe your level of understanding of Word, Excel, and Outlook. Please give examples how you used each program.
   
   
   I am very proficient in Word, and have a good grasp on Excel regarding spreadsheets and formulas to calculate and create data for presentation. I have used Outlook and Outlook Express for the last six years, I am confident in both of those programs.
   
   
2. Describe your experience with UPS and/or FedEx in regards to shipping.
   
   My last position required shipping from both carriers. I used the internet shipping methods most often as the carriers themselves expressed that it was preferred and helped them in getting the deliveries completed in a more efficient manner.
   
   
3. What are some of the major freight carriers you have dealt with in the past?
   
   I do not think that I have dealt with major freight. I am unsure what the qualifications of major freight entails. I have coordinated and shipped large boxes, to small envelopes.
   
   
4. Please describe how you would respond to the following.

You negotiate a rate for a shipment of $1800, and ship the freight as scheduled. When the freight bill arrives it is billed at $2600. How will you deal with the freight carrier to resolve this billing issue?

I would have had proper documention, or contract, including the name of whom I negociated the price, and make a telephone call to resolve the discrepancy.

7. Please describe your inventory related experience.

I have been in charge of ordering office supplies, and coordination of needed materials for many years. I performed this task for normal business offices, and for a home health medical office.

7. Please describe your purchasing experience.
   

Visa! Once explained where the company purchases from and the protocal, I place orders as directed, allocating departments when necessary.

7. Would you like to be cross-trained to do many jobs or do you prefer just staying with the job for which you were hired?
   

I am very versitile and have a lot to bring to the table. I believe that pitching in where work is needed is what should be done to run a well oiled machine.

7. Have you ever refused or felt offended when asked to perform job duties outside of your defined job description?
   

Well, I've never been asked to scrub a toilet, short of that I would say that no (laughing) I don't mind at all. Diversity is great.

7. Are you able to communicate openly with your supervisor or manager? This means do you have the ability to bring work issues to the table before they are allowed to fester. Please elaborate.
   
   I would like to think my supervisor would be an approachable person. With a good repore I see no reason that job complications or issues would need to be kept in the closet. I am assertive, however this question is really dependant upon the work environment. During times of stress I can understand that temperments may fluctuate, but I do strive for a position where I feel that I can speak freely to alleviate the issue at hand. I am able to leave things at the door and not take a stressful day personally. All work together right?
   
8. How do you deal with difficult customers? Please give an example.
   
   I would troubleshoot their concern and work with it from there. Each customer will be different. I am very good with customers and often make them laugh, which helps to bring the situation to a reasonable level of discussion and solving their issue.
   
   
9. How do you deal with difficult co-workers? Please give an example.
   

Frankly, I am at a job to work. I love to play about and socialize with my co-workers, however if there is a member of the staff particularly troublesome to me, I would have to find a way to co-exist and focus on the work that needs done. Everyone has bad days, I remind myself of that.

7. Do you feel it is important to enjoy your job? Why?

Do I ever! The definition of work itself implies an obligation to allow bills to be paid, mortages on time, all of the things that most people frown at. You often hear "I have to go to work." Instead of "I get to go to work!"

I would love to be one of the people who truly enjoy what they do. Your advertisement was titled "Do you like PopCorn?" and I admit my eye froze as I thought, "well yes, yes I do!"

7. Where do you see yourself in five years? Describe your career goals.
   
   As stated above, I would like to be involved in a fun environment where I am contributing my skills in a positive productive way.
   
   
8. Why did you leave your most recent job, or why are you planning on leaving?
   
   I was let go because of job cutbacks. Fun fun economy. Nothing negative about my departure.
   
   
9. Some aspects of this job require physical labor. Are you able to lift up to 50lbs? Do you have any disabilities, which may limit your ability to perform the job for which you are applying?
   
   I have no disabilties. As for lifting 50 pounds (stares at string bean arms) I imagine that I could but an audible grunt may be heard. I did lift patients often when I worked in healthcare, so I am trained in proper lifting technique, but much more than that I cannot say I am capable of.
   


10. Legal right to work in the US ?
    
    Born and raised! Yes.
    
    
11. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? If yes, please explain.
    
    Clean and clear.
    
12. Odell’s is a drug free environment. Would you consent to drug testing?
    
    Certainly.
    
13. Please provide at least three verifiable references (at least one from a previous employer).
    Not your biz! ( to readers, not to the employer)
    
    
14. How soon are you available to start?
    
    August 11, 2008, or sooner if needed and we are a good match.
    
    
15. In your own words, describe the position for which you are applying. (Please feel free to add any additional relevant experience, not list on your resume, you feel would be an asset to this position.
    

I am applying for a position that dragged my eye by the explanation of the environment. I do have questions to be sure we would both fill the needs of eachother, but my understanding is this position handles inventory, ordering, shipping, negotiation, interpersonal skills and anything else asked of me. I feel I'm qualified and hope you do as well. As for additional skills, did you read that I can perform a perfect sumersault? I threw that in as a comical bonus, you are more than free to make me prove it, but I hope I wouldn't be wearing a skirt, ack!

Thank you,

-DM