Bone please?

First off, thanks to those who commented on my last entry. And a hearty "I should kill you" to BLD for sending "Jesus is my Friend!" That damn song won't leave my brain but nevertheless you all are that is keeping me sane. No work leads a person hitting the fast lane of being a shut in quicker than NASA can launch a shuttle, and much like NASA.... it's entirely possible that the subject might just explode into tiny pieces that litter the world with pessimism of no good days to come.

I should not be this way, but am in a funk that I'm sure smells personality wise as much as it does from my pores. Shower? What is this thing you speak of? Wet... oh goodness, don't play, I couldn't possibly consider such.

I have had three bites today. Not leads, which is the mopey pacing of the house hoping to somehow impress someone, but actual bites, meaning I'm either appealing - or employers can sniff the desparation in the air. I picture a group of them in a room, the caller with feet up on his desk while everyone drools with anticipation of him fucking with me, no intention of offering employment. "Sssshhhhh it's ringing!" Hands from the gigglers clamp over their giggly mouths just waiting for me to be let down. That, or they know I'm lame enough to accept an offer that wouldn't pay for my lunch. Either way, there is some cosmic joke on me. I half want to accept one of those jobs just to hear them falter and say "really????" But that hasn't happened either.

Friends, it is a sad, sad world when people even with mad qualifications can't get a job. This is where we are now. I'd recommend smiling at your boss. Like... a bunch, even if you hate him or her. I can't get into politics much, and don't need to, I am pretty sure we know where I stand on it, but I don't appreciate being the best that I've ever been in my career - and no, being a desk jockey isn't rocket science but I am very good at it and at the high end of it. Some would say different, but ahem... can only work with what is given. Anyhow, I will say one thing on politics.... Palin GO AWAY. Not into the dirt, but shut your hypocritical craw and quit hiding under your appearance (which isn't THAT great btw) and realize, we all know you do, that you were picked to scoop the Hillary or woman voter remnance. Those who are impressed are middle aged men and the wives they influence. I'd rest my case, but the facts do it for me.

So! I have appointments set up. Meager at best. I meet at the Legislature ... in like FOREVER, and went on something today. It rather rivals tossing salad (ya you read that right) to get dressed up just to see a checklist and a person deciding how not to hire you. Deflating.

Case in point, I took a series of 5 tests today to see how my skills measured up. I doubt anyone would contest that I rock the living shit out of computers. These fuckers sent me tests in.... Vista. I saw it and I cannot explain the expression on my face except to say that I had to leave the room and come back to check if I had seen proper, head tilted sideways almost 90 degrees. I will be polite when I respond to the job-tester-sender, but I have every intention of saying that when I proclaimed proficiency in Office software I did not mean Vista, and no one should EVER mean Vista. I'm not adverse to new programs, I can figure anything out, but not on a test where you are one click from a pop up that says "WRONG STUPID!!"

I knew all the answers, but couldn't find them. I run mostly on keyboard commands, these were not an option. It was all point and click, like the entire world is two years old. I suppose that annoyed me and I lost points for using the commands that obviously were programmed to be used. Again, cosmic hatred.

At the joint I went to today, I thought was an actual job, but turned out to be an employment aency, there was only one gal there and she was extremely bothered. Everyone is bothered, so afterward I came home to beat the dogs and tell them to stop being so fucking happy.

No one else was there, so either no one was biting or no one was hiring. Hm. I was about half through the papers, even though I had a fresh crisp resume, when she stood up and announced she could no longer stand the song on the radio. Trying to make light I agreed, saying it was rather redundant, it had a lot of ah-ah-ah -ah to the beat of an Ozzy song. She went to the stereo but the channel wouldn't change. Whatever was wrong with her was transgressed on the stereo and she smacked it around until she ultimately jerked it's wiring from the wall, smoothed her hair back and smiled, returning to her station. I've never quite seen electronics slapped up that way since Office Space. I guess it had it coming.

I just kept writing on the forms, I saw nothing officer.

That's all for now, wish me well on any bites. I have shiney new paper to print on, stopped at the store since I'd pryed my ass from this chair, figured may as well. Will update the Kylee blog soon, moral of the day - never let your dog swim naked.

-DM