Monday, February 10, 2014

Dope man, dope man...

It's subject of debate, but I smoke roughly 5 cigarettes a day.  On a weekend.  Three any other day of the week.  Much to the finger pointing skepticism of Mr. Morgan, it's true and I clock into work and chew nicotine the entire day.  Shrug, I don't smoke enough that I even put it on a medical form or to the dentist.  That said, my gum falls off the back of truck, ever so slightly aged.  There is no placebo to nicotine, month expired gum.... six month expired gum is active and awesome.

When my last shipment didn't arrive and a co-worker is bumming gum, and let's be honest... bumming gum is the same as bumming a smoke, I contacted Dope Man, my jowls in a sway of chewing nothing as I wrote last week....

Hi Dope Man, I've oddly not seen this package...can you look into?  Thanks!

-DM


Today:

Hi DM- you should have recieved it today. I just tracked it and it shows delivered.


Have a good night

-Dope Man 
-------

Dope Man,

Indeed sir, arrived today just in time.... I was starting to stare favorably at the tires on my car, irrationally comparing the texture and consistency.  That's a dire lonely place to be my friend.  Lol ok some hyperbole in that but I DO feel I overpaid for those tires, and smokers are opportunists by nature so....there ya go :P

Thanks as always,

- DM

Ps - also of gum laden news.... My mother, 3 packs a day - (no joke, who has time to put down 3 packs short of some crazy coffee/amphetamine addiction and she has neither...).... gave a try at the gum and it parted her from 7k in dental implants.  Plucked 'em like carrots!  I know right!?!?  I didn't have anything to say, packed my gum and snuck out the back door mumbling an apology.  Grief, who knew.

3 Comments:

Blogger Saffyrre said...

Oh my goodness!!! That must be some really sticky gum or shoddy dentistry. The cuke himself just started on e-cigs. He smokes about 25 cigs a day. He seems to like it so we'll see how it goes.

8:26 PM  
Blogger DMorgan's Zoo said...

I find ecigs pretentious, and if not that.... embarrassing. Seriously, I'm embarrassed even trying to talk to anyone puffing on one, lol I lose my shit and can't ignore the obvious fake and folly. Props to Cuc for giving it a go, and the gum is fine... You aren't supposed to work it like piece of taffy to extract the goods, in fact that will give you instant hiccups, I suspect mom was going at that gum like it was the biggest jerky chew-off of her life, and she meant to get 1st prize.

9:21 PM  
Blogger Saffyrre said...

Aaah gotcha, that makes sense! Pretentious is definitely not what the hubs is after, just a way to stop smoking. Gum isn't his thing!

9:55 PM  

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