Mystery Garbage
Since I depressed everyone yesterday, I’ll try in this entry to lighten up on the heavy shit.
It’s Thursday, which means garbage day around here and I generally lug it to the curb since I’m outside smoking every…. ya know… half hour or so. Behind the garbage can was a pink bag, all tied up, sitting there very unassumingly. I gazed at it for a good few minutes knowing it didn’t not come from the office and had been tossed over the concrete wall.
The color of the bag instantly made me think of vibrators, because that is the exactly same shade of pink bag you get when you purchase one. And again, I said vibrators, not dildos. I don’t really know what color bags those walk away in.
Who knows what could be in the bag, so I sent a note to Bosslady’s Daughter, letting her know of my discovery and she appeared at the front door pretty quickly to take a gander herself. Yes, we are apparently excited about mystery garbage. We do work in an insurance office after all, so that sort of thing entertains.
I told Bosslady’s Daughter that I was considering playing a round of “whatcha think it is!” and she encouraged me.
I procured the gloves. Blackmailed the cameraman and was ready to go.
However, before I could open the bag I had to ask people, whatcha think it is? There were minimal rules, you can’t touch the bag, poke the bag, or get so close to see through the bag.
Bosslady’s Daughter’s guess was sweaty rocks.
Bosslady’s Daughter’s Son (I WAY need to rename these people, fucking carpal tunnel typing it) guesses a teenage girl w/rapid age disease. She told him bag too small, but he says not if she has rapid age disease.
Moon thinks is cigarette butts.
Fozybee guessed leftover birthday cake.
Bosslady had no guess and just asked if it was necessary every member of the staff go outside too look at a bag. I said yes and tried to ignore that she sucks the fun out of everything, wanting us all to be unhappy like she is. Holy shit, people went into the fresh air for two seconds to unwind and have a little fun for a change. Shoot us.
I personally think it’s nut shells.
So let’s see What It Is. The Approach.
The initial peek.
It's shit. With some rocks. Someone took the time to bag shit and toss it into our parking lot. The photo may not show it perfectly, but have no doubt, it was most definitely a bag of feces.
It’s Thursday, which means garbage day around here and I generally lug it to the curb since I’m outside smoking every…. ya know… half hour or so. Behind the garbage can was a pink bag, all tied up, sitting there very unassumingly. I gazed at it for a good few minutes knowing it didn’t not come from the office and had been tossed over the concrete wall.
The color of the bag instantly made me think of vibrators, because that is the exactly same shade of pink bag you get when you purchase one. And again, I said vibrators, not dildos. I don’t really know what color bags those walk away in.
Who knows what could be in the bag, so I sent a note to Bosslady’s Daughter, letting her know of my discovery and she appeared at the front door pretty quickly to take a gander herself. Yes, we are apparently excited about mystery garbage. We do work in an insurance office after all, so that sort of thing entertains.
I told Bosslady’s Daughter that I was considering playing a round of “whatcha think it is!” and she encouraged me.
I procured the gloves. Blackmailed the cameraman and was ready to go.
However, before I could open the bag I had to ask people, whatcha think it is? There were minimal rules, you can’t touch the bag, poke the bag, or get so close to see through the bag.
Bosslady’s Daughter’s guess was sweaty rocks.
Bosslady’s Daughter’s Son (I WAY need to rename these people, fucking carpal tunnel typing it) guesses a teenage girl w/rapid age disease. She told him bag too small, but he says not if she has rapid age disease.
Moon thinks is cigarette butts.
Fozybee guessed leftover birthday cake.
Bosslady had no guess and just asked if it was necessary every member of the staff go outside too look at a bag. I said yes and tried to ignore that she sucks the fun out of everything, wanting us all to be unhappy like she is. Holy shit, people went into the fresh air for two seconds to unwind and have a little fun for a change. Shoot us.
I personally think it’s nut shells.
So let’s see What It Is. The Approach.
The initial peek.
It's shit. With some rocks. Someone took the time to bag shit and toss it into our parking lot. The photo may not show it perfectly, but have no doubt, it was most definitely a bag of feces.
Why? Why bag shit? BLD took the photos for me, and I think we were both a bit surprised. I kept saying, dude it's SHIT, it's a bag of fucking shit! Who does this sort of thing?
Anyhow..... that was my Thursday fun.
-DM
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
1:10 PM
9 Comments:
Shit AND rocks...so I was closest (had to get that in). And they aren't kitty litter sized rocks either - they're full on pebbles. Someone felt the need to bag pebbles and shits. New cereal?
Actually, shit would have been my first guess! What did you do with it? If it were me, I'd throw it back over the fence; but that's just me.
Maybe it was someone picking up poop from walking their dog and their dog just happened to poop in someone's landscaping with pebbles?? Or it's just poop and rocks!! :D
Thats an awful lot of poo. I walk my dogs, I have seen a good poo and that bag was a saving up from someTHING.
No one guessed poop? Like missnev, that was my instant thought. When my pup was around, that bag looked exactly like the one I'd carry around and tie up on walks. Now I can't explain the rocks. Bravo on being brave enough to open that. Gloves or no gloves, there's no chance in hell I'm doing that.
Call it boredom Shans. Or a reflection of my job, that I'd rather be getting into bags of poo than inside with my boss. Hm.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Side note.... only later in the evening did I contemplate the fact it could have had used needles in it, since this area sees someone hopped up at least once a day idling by. I will think more carefully next time for sure.
Side note.... only later in the evening did I contemplate the fact it could have had used needles in it, since this area sees someone hopped up at least once a day idling by. I will think more carefully next time for sure.
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