Bubbly Uncertainess
Today's present is a bit baffling. In a minute for that.
I haven't felt a whole lot better physically, although I inadvertantly passed gas on a serious enough level that I heard my chair say "Ow... DAMN!" I read appendix troubled people are not able to do this as happilly as I did. But what the pain is remains undertermined, unwanted and very annoying to anyone who happens by me. Ever seen a person take one look at you and run? That's when you know you have hypochondriac-ed them into aviodance. I just hope that if it's gas, that I fart my way into calmness, not caring who I might offend. It's also entirely possible I have an ovary that is tired of not being used and wants to get a better job. Whatever it is, it's angry.
Back to the present. Candy Bubbles. The idea I guess by reading the bottle, which was all too happy to say it's made of shit I eat everyday, is to blow bubbles and eat them. Several things instantly occured to me about this gift. First one being they presume to know what I eat. That's a major assupmtion. Secondly, I have eaten bubbles as a kid and it takes likes soap. There is no stretch of the imagination that will make me eat anything in that container. I wonder if my mother put the gift giver up to this and said to swap it for soap to punish me for my potty mouth.
I have eaten a good... deal... of soap in my life. At one point I actually craved bar soap. liquid soap drills into your tongue and creates a level of salivation I cannot ever really express without curling into a ball and dry heaving. So! I shall not be eating bubbles. I may take it about and see who will though. I'll test it on the dogs first. They'll eat damn near anything and are trusting enough to be the perfect specimens to experiments this crap on.
Sorry you all go back to work tomorrow.
-DM
I haven't felt a whole lot better physically, although I inadvertantly passed gas on a serious enough level that I heard my chair say "Ow... DAMN!" I read appendix troubled people are not able to do this as happilly as I did. But what the pain is remains undertermined, unwanted and very annoying to anyone who happens by me. Ever seen a person take one look at you and run? That's when you know you have hypochondriac-ed them into aviodance. I just hope that if it's gas, that I fart my way into calmness, not caring who I might offend. It's also entirely possible I have an ovary that is tired of not being used and wants to get a better job. Whatever it is, it's angry.
Back to the present. Candy Bubbles. The idea I guess by reading the bottle, which was all too happy to say it's made of shit I eat everyday, is to blow bubbles and eat them. Several things instantly occured to me about this gift. First one being they presume to know what I eat. That's a major assupmtion. Secondly, I have eaten bubbles as a kid and it takes likes soap. There is no stretch of the imagination that will make me eat anything in that container. I wonder if my mother put the gift giver up to this and said to swap it for soap to punish me for my potty mouth.
I have eaten a good... deal... of soap in my life. At one point I actually craved bar soap. liquid soap drills into your tongue and creates a level of salivation I cannot ever really express without curling into a ball and dry heaving. So! I shall not be eating bubbles. I may take it about and see who will though. I'll test it on the dogs first. They'll eat damn near anything and are trusting enough to be the perfect specimens to experiments this crap on.
Sorry you all go back to work tomorrow.
-DM
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
3:20 PM
2 Comments:
I got some of these for my kids years ago. They don't taste very good from the bottle, but if you're actually able to get a bubble blown, it isn't too awful. Kind of like grape flavored soap. Enjoy!
I'll eat a bubble.
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