Intestinal Songs
Today not so good. Something went and got into my intestines to start a complete war. I started to have the worst stomach cramps (I believe this to be true) in the entire history of the solar system. There is no vomit (yet?), just a crazy cramping that covers the entire area of my torso. I have a slight fever, and I only know this because I snuck buying a Spongebob thermometer a while back as all of mine had been stripped from my nervous hands by Mr. Morgan. I tried to grapple but hung my head in shame and agreed that carrying one in a bag all day wasn't entirely healthy for my psyche. I don't know what I've got but for a while I cried insisting appendicitis, then just cried in general and went head down ass up in Bosslady's Daughters office, hoping that it was gas and I could break it up with scientific laws of gravity. Gas floats right? She then drew a face on my upper ass... which yes I have a photo of, but we really don't want to see that do we.
At home I called my mom and she answered ... seriously with:
"What now?"
"That's pretty fucking insensitive."
About how that went. No one TRIES to be a burden on others. Dick move mom.
In trying to make the best of today I gave in and decided to get Mr. Morgan a valentine gift. But first, gratuitous frat boys. Thank you gentlemen....
There was an add in the newspaper about a troupe performing for non-profit, charity event on Valens day (edification the above is NOT what I purchased... these are older men and no where deliciously naked). For 30 bucks four men will come and sing in the old school tenor style all in fancy gentlemen costumes, 3 songs, one rose and some candies. I bought my man MEN! Singing ones! I am giddy. He'll have to put clothing on, as I may have mentioned most men are completely unaware of their shit hanging out of their boxers. I see more dangle in this house than a porno on any given night and yes, it's very appreciated and greeted with a sly grin and peek. I am, gosh you'd have to know my look of proud mischief... it's that look of pride with a closed lipped nod that he;d gonna kill me first then realize it was completely fucking genius and well thought. So no one spoil this shit on me.
He has no idea of course, and I wonder if he'll think his wife a loon or inventive with her adoration. Combination perhaps? I sit writing in a personal journal on Sundays, things you all don't get, and in every entry I can honestly say I gaze at him or his direction and think WOW. Mr. Morgan is just.... I lack words, so lets go with deserving of people singing at him. Plus he made me sit while step-mother-in-law allowed people to sing at me for years. But it's not for vengence, ironic however. It's rather odd how very much he doesn't know about me, and yet he knows me better than anyone and loves me still. /baffle
To those who don't know, Mr. Morgan and I share the same birfin-day. He's notably younger, hotter and beyond smart in math. Fucker. I make up by forgetting I once too had a brain and pushing the cute button. That said... I'll be there with camera rolling for this surprise. The holiday is yank but singers on my porch is not. It's newsworthy.
-DM
At home I called my mom and she answered ... seriously with:
"What now?"
"That's pretty fucking insensitive."
About how that went. No one TRIES to be a burden on others. Dick move mom.
In trying to make the best of today I gave in and decided to get Mr. Morgan a valentine gift. But first, gratuitous frat boys. Thank you gentlemen....
There was an add in the newspaper about a troupe performing for non-profit, charity event on Valens day (edification the above is NOT what I purchased... these are older men and no where deliciously naked). For 30 bucks four men will come and sing in the old school tenor style all in fancy gentlemen costumes, 3 songs, one rose and some candies. I bought my man MEN! Singing ones! I am giddy. He'll have to put clothing on, as I may have mentioned most men are completely unaware of their shit hanging out of their boxers. I see more dangle in this house than a porno on any given night and yes, it's very appreciated and greeted with a sly grin and peek. I am, gosh you'd have to know my look of proud mischief... it's that look of pride with a closed lipped nod that he;d gonna kill me first then realize it was completely fucking genius and well thought. So no one spoil this shit on me.
He has no idea of course, and I wonder if he'll think his wife a loon or inventive with her adoration. Combination perhaps? I sit writing in a personal journal on Sundays, things you all don't get, and in every entry I can honestly say I gaze at him or his direction and think WOW. Mr. Morgan is just.... I lack words, so lets go with deserving of people singing at him. Plus he made me sit while step-mother-in-law allowed people to sing at me for years. But it's not for vengence, ironic however. It's rather odd how very much he doesn't know about me, and yet he knows me better than anyone and loves me still. /baffle
To those who don't know, Mr. Morgan and I share the same birfin-day. He's notably younger, hotter and beyond smart in math. Fucker. I make up by forgetting I once too had a brain and pushing the cute button. That said... I'll be there with camera rolling for this surprise. The holiday is yank but singers on my porch is not. It's newsworthy.
-DM
posted by DMorgan's Zoo at
7:18 PM
3 Comments:
I didn't OMG I wasn't even aware I used Mozilla to create this entry! Holy shit, I'm totally educated.
There is better work for you if you try. I promise. Don't troll people's blogs, it's very unattractive.
-DM
Hope you are feeling better soon. Are your birthdays on Valentine's Day? My dad's is the 13th. Guess I'd better get a gift.
get well soon! cant be sick for your days! and dont give it to mr. morgan, u know men can be BIG BABIES when not feeling well.
xo
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