What the.... um. Ok.

Awarded to DMorgans Zoo

-DM

Would Maddam like whine with that toe?

Vacation is treating me well. I am greeted with some mild maladies namely that I'm itching all over, but without hives, I'm saying "fuck you itch beasts, you are on my time and will not be entertained." Then I give in and scratch.

Today we are going to bowl and gamble a bit since I won a nice coin purse on Friday. Mr. Morgan was filling out his sports bets when the lucky hand appeared and his eyes glimmered. He instantly said thank you to me, then realized he had said it out loud. So sport gambling abounds.

In preparation of bowling I had a discussion with Bone Toe and we decided it was best for my game prospects to go ahead and fight the beast. I'm in a great mood but even as such tears ran down my face and a limp ensued. I could never properly describe what it's like to bi-monthly extract a toenail from a bone growth. It's all very sexy. I'm used to it, but doesn't make it suck less.

I've mentioned before that there is a certain pair of bowling shoes most suited for my feet, and I ask for them, covet them, and will one day find a way to own them. These shoes are elusive to the employees and Mr. Morgan becomes very protective of my feet and tells them why they are so important while I watch with interest.

"She has a foot problem, we absolutely need those shoes." he declares, as I wonder why he needs to explain that I'm a cripple. They don't need to know WHY I want those shoes, just fucking fetch them up for me, but he is insistant each time to alert them of my issues and validate the particular request. Maybe I just like them.

It doesn't embarrass me, it's rather cute how he wants a comfy foot. Turn side, he may just not want to risk me hurting and complaining. I truly believe it's the former.

I have no video today, things are rushed and go-time is near. Candy purchasing is tomorrow as is hair dye day. Lump that in with a full house cleaning, including carpets (we are seriously disgusting, but having in house dogs makes it inevitable), and we are over booked with tasks.

No clue when next post is unless something interesting pops up. Video is sure to rock. Cheers.

-DM

Gone with the wind...

I’m on vacation! It didn’t come free or even with a coupon, and likely I’ll be the one paying when I return.

Jeff is still on the run and made a dire mistake of crossing me on the wrong day. There will a storm coming Jeff and it’s name is bummer. You not only stupidly upset me, but you put my Army into a place where they want blood because of your ignorance. I wouldn’t fuck with my Army, they can low ball and are not new to mental torture and satisfaction on a very low key level. I have ten days to think on this Jeff, you’ve forced me to plot and get you to tears, which I will because I know your asshole concerns. Beware, the Army. And Penguins.

Repeat, but for Jeff…… Armageddon cometh. And too late to repent, I gave you a massive chance, defended that chance while others said not to, you burned me, I'm not that nice when pushed, and bad idea that you thought as much, you did know better and seriuosly after knowing my bad girl revenge past, you told me shit you shouldn't have. Didn't you know I'd play the fuck out of both sides to make you spill, with letting you roll the gossip and pretending to care? You really are that fucking daft, almost too easy. I'd worry less about my antics than what others would like to do. So, good luck.




For ten days though, I have no time for Jeff or Bosslady. I have a hallow scene to shoot either later this evening or tomorrow, either way very pleased with how the video is turning out.

More soon.

-DM

Flower Petals (not picked by me)

Two days and I am on vacation. This comes at a time where my psyche has hit it’s limit, so is very welcomed. I find myself making hand gestures and conversations in the hallway when I’m by myself. That means time off is very required.

Halloween is less than a week. Am I happy, waiting for it to be over or both? Mr. Morgan is also off next week so I will have help setting up, but he proudly declared “Only with heavy lifting.” He is in for a surprise.

I was greeted this noon with a package from our … ok, she’s totally all MINE, Saffy full of Halloween goodies. Even our mail carrier grinned to bring it to me, as she was thwarted by FedEx to deliver my costume. She’d read the customs label and knew she was Jesus for the day in my office.

I circled that box with the eye of someone ready to disarm a bomb for about 20 minutes. Then burst into it slowly, to savor. Unbelievable. Saff, you stun me. Half of me thinks you did it just to have the better Halloween package, but in reality I think you are simply just not as cheap as myself, which I cannot help.

Working on the Hallow video as I go, hoping it will be embraced and well commented on, I may not post as often since this is go-time for the doings, but do check in on me, never know what I might toss up. Post what your plans are for the best night of the year, I once heard tell of a crazy party with slip and slides up north. Ahem, you know who you are.

I'd write more but I just tripped over the 3 foot fucking dog bone again, which is a magnet for the growth on my toe so I am silently trying not to beat her over the head with it by reacting to the piercing pain of having a protrusion exposed. I'm throwing the fucker away and I don't care what Mr. Morgan says. I come first and that thing has been a pain in the ass since it walked in. The bone, but also the dog.

-DM

Skelly and then some!

Little tardy, doubtfully noticed.

Here is for today. I was busy making ghosts to hang out of walmart bags, came out pretty good although it's not a cute theme this year. I am half tempted to put up a "viewer discretion advised" sign, but it's halloween.... sack up or don't beg treats? I'll think on that. Have a good Saturday.



-DM

Hatstravaganza 2007 Part One

Alright. At long last Hatravaganza Part One is ready for release. (Those who sent hats not included, do not feel slighted, oh have I a use for every hat to cross my path). I pick theme's as they come.

Bosslady’s Daughter and the Grandmaster came upon an assortment of hats from…. who I now refer to as “I LOVE YOU!” It was a semi-sneaky arrangement to get them my direction, so I had to work hard, fast, and my camera crew consisted of a drunk husband on an arsenal of cold medication, while continuously aware that the last words from Bosslady’s Daughter was “Yes you can take them home for the night but I’m going to worry non-stop.”

Makes you half want to start a fire huh? I jest, they are quite the heirloom and I am more than appreciative to have enjoyed them. I even made Mr. Morgan wash the gel from his hair before wearing his piece because.. honestly, when you have a fascination with something your eyes will fall right out of your head to see it risked. Mine happens to be hats so I was all but making fucker’s scrub fingernails before they could touch this stuff. Plus it was on a very worried loan, let’s not forget.

To my word, all came back, wrapped proper, smoke free, yet I stared out my window to the car they were captured (yes CAPTURED!) several times throughout the day. Very lovely and I do extend my most gratitude to have worn them, even for a rushed evening, my head doesn’t know the difference. It just will eventually wonder why we don’t have that perfect hat. I can tell it that it’s wasn’t ours but …. My head is … DM and it will ask why, since everything has partial DM stock after all.

Those who sent hats and are not in this will see why. Do not feel left out, they WILL be used and are more than appreciated. /cough Pogo… missing yours.

Enjoy the Hatsravoganza 2007, Part One. Yes it’s meant to look old, Mr. Morgan didn't get it until I stomped feet and said can't you listen to lyrics and take in a little of how art works? Have you met me? While I am a daily mess, my work is never without extreme intent. What to do with him, someday he'll understand a photog love story. My love, I raise a brow as I did in the second to last photo.... because I am surprisingly good for you.



-DM

No hallow tonight... I'm beat doing this shit.

Hey Jesus, wanna buy a ghost?

Quandary.

I am all about reality TV trash and all the brain cell numbing it offers for one hour until another is presented to me. Salt and Peppa are rolling one and it left me with a strange countenance. YouTube was kind enough to refresh my memory on these two lovely ladies, but it did nothing for my facial expression.

In short, Salt has found god, and feels unable to perform their songs without modifying the lyrics because … I guess Jesus will be pissed. Peppa simply stared at her with a “for fucks sake” look, but went along with it. I also watched Peppa on Surreal Life and she is a sweetie, even performing the amended lyrics at Salt’s church much to her being scolded for performing how they are known to.

At what point does a person find religion and let it change them up? Were they fucked up before and give God credit (and money) to make them whole again? Near death experience? I really wonder what turns a person full circle like that. It’s grand to be spiritual, to be thoughtful and curious, but when it separates one from others who are not of similar thought, to me it becomes scary.

I made the mistake of telling my step mother in law that I had become a Reverend and also obtained a PhD in religion and the drool rolled from her mouth as though I was finally part of her coven. I admit to retreating back into my chair. Nothing about either document has made me any bit different, nor was it an achievement in attempt to sway others…. I believe she thought it was score one for Jesus, one more believer. Her presumption was simply my curiosity, but I am certain she does not see it that way. I like to know things I hadn’t, I admit to this particular interest being a change in my life, but by satisfaction of knowledge, not by allowing morphing into something I am not, and all too often people “find god” and it’s instantly implied that they are a good person and know their head from their ass. But I’m a Christian! Why thank you, now I know how far away to stand from you friend. Religion scares me. I don’t need God to tell me the fucking obvious of being a decent human being and how to comfort others. But lol, I do enjoy my certificates just fine.

Here is today’s video….. wanna buy a ghost? (thank you to BLD for the legwork).

-DM



Todays Movie: 1408
Plot: Writer stays in hotel room where 52 people have died, goes a little crazy.
Rating: Surprisingly good. My disk doesn't note which ending was in the theatrical version, so I have to follow up on that. Can't go too wrong with a Stephen King flick in October.

Air please?

Long ass day. I'm fairly pumped up though because it is Holy Day and the back-biting only gets better.

I dressed up in black slinky pants and a red and black corset, trimmed with a wrapped black scarf, top hat and sexy dance for when Mr. Morgan came home. Who wore these? I've never felt my ribs more forced into a shape they don't recognise. I feel like I'm panting but there is no sweat, I am simply bound! I remarked recently that I know know why they are called hookers.... have you seen the fastening devices on a corset? It's hook after hook after painful hook. hookers! And poor them they had to rinse repeat. Mr. Morgan gets one shot at this shit. I will not be re-hooking. No time for more tonight, lots to do and little time. Today's video has mad good props, but to shame on their video skills... my half-made video already puts their attempts shit to shame. But they do have way better props.



-DM

Tonight's movie - Not halloweeny, but again I lack time. House of Sand and Fog
Plot - Bitch wants her house back. People die, it's all tragic.
Rating - I like it. Rent it if haven't seen and need a small downer.

House of Ick

Mr. Morgan is still sick and gobbling enough shit that I pause and start to deter him from, to no avail. Then he says his liver hurts and I don't consider restarting the original deter because when it comes to pills, and sick sobby self-imploding men, I know my shit and also know they have no reason. It's fruitless to try. I just mutter that slamming acetometaphine with a beer might be contributing to that particular pain.

A few days ago he was pacing back and forth around my door and after a while of the moping trot I asked what he wanted.

"Well. I should eat." /mope mope
"What do you want?"
"Oh, I'll take anything." he sighed. "But if you really want to know...."
"Ok, what."
"But it's so much work..." /mope mope
"WHAT."
"6 egg omlette with cheese, 4 cups worth of sausage laden bisquits and gravy."
"Uh ok."
"But..... if it's not too much extra trouble, potato pancakes would be nice too."
"Jesus! Alright."

He threw in some coughs and snotty snorts for effect. Babies they turn with a cold. It does have it's level of cuteness, but also can turn a wife short tempered with all the "woe is me, I don't have what I want." including socks, underwear, medication, remote control, beer, a dog to pet etc.

He even asked if he thought he could infect the dogs. What about ME? Ever thought your infectious ass could make your maid incompacitated? Ah well, he said many times I was pretty today and brought me flowers. Forgiven for feeling like he wants to die without taking someone with him.

Todays video is the REAL Charlie Brown Halloween, as I would have written it. Bravo.



-DM

Todays Movie - Shaun of the Dead
Plot - Zombies.
Rating - Best shit on the planet. One of the funniest things I ever have watched, watched again, the re-watched to make sure I had watched it enough. Never enough.

This is Halloween

Holy shit.

I meant hello.

A co-worker of mine loaned me a “steamer” today to rub the ugly out of my costume. I admit to thinking it was bullshit and that’s what irons are for. But I was game to try anything, even if it risked injury. “It could maim me? Shit, plug that fucker in, I don’t need fingers anyhow!”

I was shy at first with it since my version of wrinkle ridding consists of hanging shit in the bathroom during a shower or re-wetting it and tossing back into the dryer. We have no problem looking like we just rolled out of a homeless shelter. I armed myself with it, carefully following the instructions of the lender and aiming it much like a radar gun.

Simon pranced in and I told him its dangers. Since we’ve established he speaks Russian and I’m not fluent yet, I pointed to the machine flicked my lighter and screamed. He understood and left promptly.

Friends, I am here to say everyone needs one of these. For fun if nothing else. I’m searching the entire house for shit to steam. It’s a water gun but …. on steriods! It’s been unplugged for 20 minutes yet it’s still cackling. It is so ready to do more. Dedication is not lost on me. My costume however, fucked the cottony buffer and turned it red, I’ll pay for it, but not sure how it can be replaced, this was a loaned item and I ruined it. Granted made in china smacks of “we will cover you in death dye” but I didn’t anticipate all that and asked my Russian what to do (Delilah DOES speak Russian and interprets from time to time). He said, “well….. blame the Chinese duh.”

Here is today’s video.




-DM

Today's Movie: From Dusk Til Dawn
Plot: Repeat watch but I hadn't known it would go vampire on us. Clooney rocks the cock on that tattoo.
Rating: Fun.

Ghost Riders

My sister and neice walked into my office today without notice, but it's always nice to see a friendly face. It's known my neice and I have not forged a manner in which we require eachother. She blinks at me, I blink back and wonder how funny it would be to take a toy and put it out of reach but within her view.

Today I discovered this would be a mistake because she is exibiting signs of being a small me. That means she could break her neck by climbing to get the item. She and my sister walked in, and she came right up to me with open arms. I thought.... who is this child and who bribed her to do this? I leared a moment, squinting and trying to use my mind reading skills, while considering what motives a small DM might have had, but at length moved in for the scoop. My neck was grappled and clenched as though she remembered my refusal to touch her for years because she was born so very small and the idea of my clusmy ass dropping and breaking a baby, was not within the realm of taking a chance. It's best to just nod at an infant. No liability there. Again, I never said I didn't like her, I had no use for her. Bratty and noisy, short of sending her in as a decoy.... no use.

She clang like a monkey in her pretty ribbon embelished crown, and even let me wear it for a little while when she realized I was not a threat to her property. Ah...... the young are all too trusting.

Bosslady was ... who cares, I was having a moment watching a mini-me! Did I used to be this cute? She looks a lot like me when I was young, I suppose it was endearing enough, but I'm not calling off the conditional affections just yet. It's possible someone tipped her off that it's a reasonable investment to be on my good side as having me as an Ount does nothing but pay off.

The purpose of the visit was to peddle some school thing for my nephew and after she was well gone, I thought.... holy shit, did I just spend 18 dollars for 6 hotdogs? In fact I did.

They left... several of the staff looked at me, deciding what level of asshole I was for not adoring the child previously.

"She hasn't been like that before. I think she is a pod creature. Plus she likes Dora, it's proof."

Don't think I didn't notice the muppet on the rafters with a hand down his pants.



-DM

"Who's your favorite muppet?"
"I don't know probably Animal" he says.
"Cop out! Everyone picks Animal. Well I like Gonzo. And Grover. Both good fellows."

--

Todays Movie: Hostel
Plot: Porn and gore. Second viewing for me, on first viewing Mr. Morgan walked in, asked what I was viewing and did the fastest turn I've ever seen him do to flee a room. I had no idea what I was watching.
Rating: Jesus.

Elvira.

Be sure to see lower post, I skipped a day. Also the video ....... seriously watch it, who knew the preppy dude in the white suit sang that low? I've known the song all my life, but never had the visual addition. Impressed and yes I clapped with a wide grin watching. She is the Mistress of the Night after all.



-DM

Same day so no movie.

Sanitarium

Mr. Morgan is sick and coughing all over the house in a way that induces a what the fuck facial expression and bolt. Don't drag me into your plague, I have a big event soon, I can't be out sick.

I spent a good part of the afternoon working on the 2007 Halloween video, the rest will have to wait until the actual event. Many props to my Zoo for cooperation, and to Walmart for providing the bribe treats necessary to get the shots I needed.

Sorta hard to post a Halloween thing today as a family member on my side has passed and it risks poor taste. Many well wishes to the family, I know the strength is there to get through this.

Here is 70's show Trick or Treat.



-DM

Todays Movie: Not a movie. I watched a toss up of 10 creepiest places, and 20 top celebrity murders.
Plot: Creepy places, murders. Lizzie Borden... shit like that.
Rating: Cable at it's best.

Anything can happen on Halloween

This morning a proposition drifted my way and I couldn't resist. Was I interested in a trip to the Halloween store? Does a spider have legs? I declined, that I can't be trusted with that much stimuli. I phoned Mr. Morgan and he said I could spend a bit more and boom, I was sitting in the car waiting for us all to go.

This is the best place and store idea ever. As a back seat passenger with child locks, my two fellow haunters left me as I beat on the window screaming please let me out! Hello? I'm locked in the car.... help? I was set free after a bit of laughter towards the frantic "But I'm SO close" girl in the back seat.

Out of price range. They are Edmond level. There were more and I stared, coveting them more than anything for a long time. I cant get into the conversations me and my brain had, I was ready to sell a dog, and not necesarilly even my dog.

You don't shop a store without testing the wares. I look like shit but cared not. Moon came around the corner and shouted FLAVA FLAV! No reason to not walk that store and dress as you go. There was a fair amount of watching employees, but since I wasn't planning to commit a crime I didn't give a fuck about wearing a potential purchase as I browsed. Ha, blast.

Rasta Moon. She's rocking the vampire scene this year.

Anyone ever watch Killer Clowns from Outer Space? Well, this fellow was in it.

This is Delilah's costume. She specifically asked to go as Jason. Simon, is a Wizard!

See his little broomstick? It's there. I want madly to go back to that store and spend like crazy, I was amazed at the shit they offered for purchase. my eyes watered with want. I did get a few wares, one that is on the scramble and complains... it will need confinement.

I had my arms wrapped up with so much shit I had to be all subtle and return them piece by piece else actually be forced to pay for it all and that would not have been in the Mr. Morgan approved budget. Speaking of, must go make a meatloaf, Mr. Morgan is under the weather and needs food that isn't a fucking can of beans. Forever with those beans.

So. Here is todays video. From Worst Witch. A movie I really dug as a teen, plus go Tim Curry.



-DM

Todays Movie: Ed Gein
Plot: Dude who Hannibal was modeled after. I've seen the real photos of what he did so took the movie with a slanted tilt of head to see if accurate.
Rating: Not gory. For what he did, make the documentary/movie to show it. Fucker gutted and ate people. Shamelessly. Overall, good movie because of interest.

Melt in your mouth

Good day. Decent. We all ordered in some breakfast meals from a close by greasy spoon that has put a hurt on my stomach and bowels to the extent I felt bad bringing the leftovers home to share with Mr. Morgan and the furbabies. I will try to warn them, but damn if the bacon doesn't seem tempting and delicious in the first hour of consumption. After that it just gets scary.

We have art class at noon tomorrow. I've been saying I'd take the office gang out to some grassy place to draw for a long time. It's completely freestyle, but if someone wanted help to draw a particular item, I can lend a penciled hand in advice. I planned it, then was told it's due to rain. Well of course it would.

So in Nevada Immigration got all bored and has run a mad string of raids on illegal workers. I think all at McDonald's locations all over. This has created somewhat of a border panic type of trot for our less credentially-having locals. Today, at the restaurant of a close latino friend - who works I think - 4 jobs and shit? and is legal, put out the American flag and Mexico flag, to greet the patrons. Well the Mexican flag soared a bit higher and some jerkfuck came and ripped it to shreds. I'm told this is making national news. Our friend didn't even know and wears the same "are you serious" face Mr. Morgan and I are. It's HIS store. He had the American flag out, but apparently it's a slight to our country for him to perform a first ammendment right, even unwittingly. On the Bill Mander show (780 am) the flag tearer called in, proud. Ignorance was bouncing off the walls. Mr. Morgan came home and told me the story, after a shotgun round of playing woman and calling everyone he knew including the store owner, while I chirped in the background, astounded.

"Fernando?"
"Yep."
Laughing.....
"They are calling him a racist? For real? Dude, it's Fernando."
"I know huh!"
"Fucking lame. That guy should be forced to replace his flag, that is his property."
"It's totally ignorant."
"It's illegal. People wanna bitch about illegal(s)... um????"

I think Fernando and I see smiley guy with some ass kicking salsa. This incident is beyond what our country should be focusing on. He's doing everything right, and feeding the people while he does it. Mr. Morgan can't tell me the name, but it's on 4th street in Reno. Eat there and support them, this is stupidity at it's pinnacle.

-DM

Todays Movie: Needful Things
Plot: Everything comes at a price, what are you willing to do for yoru needful thing?
Rating: Fabulous. Book was better, but the idea is genius.

Ok ok, sampler.

I have felt better than I do right now. Munching some peanuts who seem very determined to help my stomach stop the riot it's pulling. Granted I'm washing them down with wine, but that's just to test their abilities.

Costume landed. Not exactly what to say about it because I remain on the fence of being happy or realizing I made a grave mistake. I tried it on at work and the girls all agreed I should wear fishnet stockings all the time.

"What like.... because I'm a hooker? I mean... what the fuck..."
"No no, you just have the legs for them."
"Right. Like a fucking hooker. Am I getting this wrong? You could have said like Madonna or Pat Benetar, jesus."

Firstly, I have the legs for nothing but modeling for Miss Anorexic 2007. Nary a leg to me, I was born stringy and have maintained the stringalicious title. Not entirely sure how to take it. Is it animal mineral, vegetable? Compliment, or lack of other words to not hurt my feelings. In the future, as long as you are not a Jeff..... you can tell me balls out truth.

I am however trying to rock this costume, it's just not quite in my comfort zone yet. And my hair wasn't curled. Not sure why, I blame vanity but it's the reason you got nothing yesterday. I worked the photo up and couldn't stop being annoyed that I looked like a mop. Come the Day, I will have a fresh coloring and ringlets. Can click for larger version, as the small one looks as though I'm flexing and that is not the case.

Hooker legs. A pair of em. /shakes head. I always thought they just got me around, never knew they had a career, where is the fucking paycheck?

Mr. Morgan got himself lovely and liquored last evening so when I asked if we could do a photo shoot and he said yes.... I all but clicked my hooker heels together with glee. This will help make the video be produced faster by getting shots out of the way early. Much like last year, the costume is stifling and hot, making me sweat like someone who knows they are failing a lie detector test.

I have a bit more news, but enough for now. Here is today's watchable. I know dog costumes went around a bit ago, but there are new ones in the mix. Worth a second watch with music anyway. Happy Hallow 2nd!



-DM

ps - Also watching one horror (or so called) film a day as usual. Yesterday was:

Brainscan - Starring Edward Furlong.
Storyline - By involving in this "new game" it rips off StrangeDays in the snuff film genre. He plays the game thinking it's just killing in game until body parts start to appear in his house. Sounds good? Save your cash.
Rating - Meh.