Return of the Mack!

We are home.

Glad to be home, but home means work, and work means getting up early with obligations and potentially being showered. Vacation affords slacking on both.

Watch the below Summer 2007 footage, then read for more input.




Our first night out we stayed in Ashland, OR which I’ve always called Ore-gone, but apparently it’s as obnoxious to them as Nev-AH-da is to me. So Ore-gin, it is. Mr. Morgan has a fierce fascination with Ashland. He stalks their college campus on runs and just loves the community. It is very pretty there. I wanted my Brookings, although there isn’t a town in Ore-gin that didn’t have gracious, wonderful people. I was so glad to see that hadn’t changed since our last visit.

In Brookings we procured our ocean front suite and walked the beach a while. Fed the birds, one bit me but it was an accidental swoop to grab bite, I forgave him. (hush Pogo). On our way to my favorite store in the WORLD we passed a fireworks hut and Mr. Morgan got it into his head we should attempt suicide by purchasing the mega-box.

I got my girly wares from my store as his fingers drummed for the fireworks. So there was that.

He’d also had a hard on for horseback riding. Me. On a horse. Jesus.

Our guide was about two feet tall and hopped up on a drug I couldn’t identify by his behavior. He gave me the horse afraid of water for the beach ride. The bitch afraid of horses AND water, gets Sarif. Color me lucky. I did it because Mr. Morgan has really wanted to, and has not shut up about another ride since then. My ass, thighs, calves, and psyche need a little while before I attempt that shit again. Did I wear a helmet? Hell yes. That is no riding cap, it's a bonafide helmet I chose to enlist once I signed a paper saying I could die and noticed my drugged guide wandering in the circles.

We also visited an underground cave. Stalagmites and what nots. I never thought I was claustrophobic until 2 hours into one of those tours. I wanted out and got pretty bitchy about getting there.

Each day we walked at least 4 miles, swam in pools, and rode horses to make sure my ass didn’t feel left out. This girl is tired! We got back our dogs, who have learned habits I do not approve of, and I will gladly admit I was unkind to my step'mother'in'law. She sat there rubbing Simon like she owned him cooing "Your mom is here .. go to mom" Yeah fucking right, he's going to move when being held. Get your OWN DOGS! Munchausen by proxy much? There's more to that, but I am still steamed and will wait until I make more sense.

Was a good time, more about it later, wanted to slam it up. I have left out details because I need my nap, but there are plenty notables to come.

-DM

Oh.

I didnt know comments were turned off. I turned them on while I make up the stuff from our trip. And here I was, mad and shit that no one said anything.

Jeni

Well. I'm off ....

In one day. This is all I could do gang.

http://viddedis.blogspot.com/

Enjoy. Loves and what nots. Please do read and watch all, this wasa month in the making just for you. (Hit older for more....)

Oh and can access all my previous videos over time here:

Best of DM



-DM

The not so itsy bitsy .......

Because I didn't express enough yesterday how completely shot my nerves are, I had a visitor.

I came inside after work, remembered I left my nicotine needfuls in the car and went back out towards car - barefoot - a fashion in which I normally go to and from work, with a pair of flip flops by the pedals in case of a pull over. I saw something chilling on the walk and leapt no shit high enough that my rafter birds said "bitch do you mind?"

I climbed down and said ... oh it's just one of my halloween leftovers because godDAMN if it wasn't the same size and on the exact same level of cooling. It was there like it had always been there. No moving, no idea that it was planning a flee so I confirmed "DM you are so fucking stupid, no way that thing is real." but at the same time, there was also no way I had walked past that five minutes before on my way in.

On my trot back (BAREFOOT!!!!!) I still wasn't convinced. It appeared far too suddenly and looked like a dog playing dead. Goosebumps were not shaking and I have learned to trust them. This was a nasty fucker on the move to come inside and kill me in my sleep.

So I got a rock. I laugh, because if you ask me to aim at anything I may as well throw it backwards, but I see a giant spider and I become a sniper. I smacked it dead on with the precision of a champion archer (or not-fucking-around-arachnophobe), and leapt back to my feathered friends for safety.

It was NOT one of my halloween props. Looks identical to what comes in that fake webbing though. I went back to check if it did run, but I know I smoked it good with that stone.



Getting this close is still shivering me up. Far too leggy. Too big, and way too close to my front door looking leggy and big. What the fuck is this spider? Anyone know? It wasn't a widow, I've seen plenty of those and they aren't any more comforting. Look at how sharp it's legs are! (small grin to self because I my stone got a head shot! Take another look. The female side of Casa de Morgan takes no chances..... we watch horror films, we know how dirty those crawly bitches are).

It was sitting in bright daylight and didn't make one move. I think it's a super smart spider, but it better be the last of it's kind. It was bigger than the quarter, but after the rock hurl it rolled up some.

Unbelievably not ok with me. I'm itching and shit now, convinced things are crawling about. HATE spiders. It's not even a spider, it's a sign from God to torture me and make me want to call the Penecostals. That would be the joke on the joke for god.

Frown!

-DM

In the year 2525....

Countdown ladies and gents.

My odd behaviors have gone ten fold this year. I am cleaning shit as if I’m never going to see it again.

I sit and I think about people who live for each day and I don’t get it. Why live today when you can worry about tomorrow? Always been this way. It’s not sad, just how I am but I often wonder why more aren’t of my mindset. It doesn't bother me, it makes me blink.

I read a post on a message board I frequent and this girl is having self image issues. Ones that hit home so hard I looked for the baseball that just smacked me in the stomach. I wanted to cry for her.

You dress up, you play pretty but nothing except self can ever fix that bullshit.

So I look at others and wonder what their shitty little hidden secrets are. What crosses are they bearing and not telling? I contemplate strangers in that regard instead of enjoying myself, and yet it’s what I prefer to be doing. Speculation lends so very much to this daydreamer.

I have been trying to think of stories for vacation and am having a bit of a hard time saying anything positive but I am happy to be going on a trip (mostly). Nothing like a vacation to turn me into more of a lunatic. I don’t want to work. That’s all I really consider of vacation. Given the strict confinements of my travel willingness, I’m not sure where we’d go that we already haven’t. People often tell me it must suck living in my shell, but at least it feels safe. Giving the extra leap to prove it’s ok outside the shell is ludicrous me, because I’m not daft – I know there is a great goodness out there for me to grab. I will get it when I want it. Forcing does nothing. If I have learned anything from being a nut talking to other nuts… it’s that change happens when it’s the right time, I would guess that goes for anything and anyone.

Because I adore old videos and songs…… too often we forget these gems. You’re welcome. (also posted because the daily news is making me eyeball prozac. Please people, stop this shit or no one will be left to finish his chorus)



-DM

Don't forget to Tuk

I'm still working on content for my vacation. Today's offering below. If you don't know how to use choppin' sticks, well now you too - yes YOU can learn.



Now you can pick up anything! How about picking up the english fucking language?

That is the most creative version of english I've ever seen on a wrapper that was actually trying to speak the language. And hey, what if I don't know how to hold a pencil? Where's the drawing for that? Just no choppin' stick for me? And I'm not right handed assholes, I demand you change the graphics.

--

The dogs are pacing the house and have admitted they are bored even though you can't go two god damned inches in this place without stubbing a toe on one of their 50 fucking million trinkets and bones, yet they are bored. /blank stare.

I wrote a bunch more, but am holding it for later.

-DM

Try to make me go to rehab...NO NO NO

Don't skip the video..... great new sound and terribly on my mind. No comments please, this is personal and something I've not wanted to post for a long time, but have so. Thanks. And yes, I did mail this. My fury of being told I'll die does not rest. I have witheld much of this.



---
Dear Dr. Dunlap.

I’m still angry with how you treated me, or lack of.

I have no intentions to set up anything legal because the cause of suit would read negligence, then underlined “bullshit examination”.

To not get into specifics, because you do have my chart, I must ask at what point in the last decade of being my personal physician to whom I recommended and raved to others about did you get so bitter? Is it the medical malpractice scares of late? You broke onto the scene in this town like a tornado ready to fix every last one of us as if you were flown in to Jonestown with a wake up serum.

Last I saw you I was honest and I told you I drink. A bit much, probably, most do. My honesty turned your head immediately to I was a drunk. You went so far as to say you were not sure I should legally drive from the appointment (I had nothing in my system and you humiliated me and said I stank) and considered if you “professionally” could allow me to leave on my own accord. That was bold, uncalled for and you watched me tear up and didn’t care.

You said I’ll be dead in 3 years and called in another doctor to verify those words. Your insurance carrier would be proud. Your patient was frightened and you did nothing. No offer no help. You told me to go to AA. For what?

I went for my gynecological visit after 3 months of fear, crying and wondering if I needed to set my husband up on dates, and he asked what panels were drawn. You didn’t even pull a hepatitis panel. My chart is clear both of my parents are HepC+ and I was a phlebotomist who had the hepatitus vaccine, which I’m told often set the liver tests onto insane levels. But for you it was simply because I admitted to drinking, instead of looking into alternative possibilities. Your patients should be encouraged to lie to you if they want medical care.

You went the extra step to call my hand surgeon with your idea, and my procedures were cancelled. You knew good and well how much pain I'm in, I have 18 tumors to be removed... you called and stopped it. No one called me. I had to phone and an awkward nurse had to tell me you claimed I'd die on the table with any anethesia. Courtesy call? Is it 3 years now or instant death? I'm sure my family woul like to know as a heads up. I do not appreciate being the only part of the wheel who isn't informed. I've had to call, appear and get nasty to find out what you THINK is the matter, yet you've run no further tests. If I show up with an AA button will I get more recognition?

Whatever happened to you is a shame. We lost a great doctor. I personally lost a great deal of respect for you, and pride as you made me feel disgusting. Congrats doc... here's your diploma.

( edited of course to remove: Who the fuck do you think you are telling me I stink? If I'm so dead why do you offer me no help? Would you like to participate in my funeral arrangements....) Et-fucking-I hate-you-cetara.

Been chewing on this a while. Few know the intimate details. Please keep them private. I've not bothered Mr. Morgan with any of this for a great many reasons and prefer it that way. After vacation I am seeking a new evaluation. I had never felt so small or so embarrassed. To bring in another yank fucking doc to back up that I was told I would be dead soon was wrong. Lots of care in the room huh. I felt like the tissue that wiped their ass to ensure no lawsuits. And I left hiding tears that energy wise would implode a building. That's all I think. For now. I met a nice doctor during Mr. Morgan's hand bust who I think I may choose. I know in the past I said it was bad, but not so candidly with the specifics. So, that. Thanks for reading, honestly.

-DM

Let's Talk Hats.

While I am going on vacation, and that does have my attention, I need new hats.

With all the burners, and friends of burners out there I should have my studio LOADED with borrowed shit for my next Hatstravaganza. I need you all, each and every of you to hat me up.

My scalp has been itching for the last few weeks and after ruling out lice or skin rot, I realized..my head... wants.... HATS!

Don't let me down. I'll not keep any hat not told otherwise, and loaners will be treated with utmost care. I'll even try not to smoke in anything that looks anti-smoking and republican.

Miss Nev, I know for a fact you could roll out of bed and pass someone a post-it note and have hats arriving in ten minutes. My lovely burners are ground zero for props. In exchange I barter gifts for the efforts of all. Ebay is also fab, and cheap. I'm looking for any hat, but nothing says getting even with some smart ass comment I made than a horrid hat you know will be included in my strava should you lack for ideas.

--

Meanwhile. I have new Jeff's. Thus far they seem to live in the garage. It's empty and no one appears to be sitting in there to await a truck. For two days, they've just sat in there, toward the back, watching me scowl as I drive past.

Jeff Squatters!!!! Bigger and better each time.

-DM

Gimme Head with Hair/You'reBeautiful

I am happy to say I spied two of my army in the lot yesterday picking that nasty thing off my windshield. I was willing to let it be a test of decomposition to the plastic companies. Moon went out armed with a bunch of shit in the hail (hail in June... ya!) she way belted up and came to the challenge on her own saying "I can't walk past your car anymore, and I just can't let you drive around like that." I was torn. Half of me wanted it to stay just to see what it would do, but 99 percent of me was about to vomit - not easy to make me do - because it was beginning to aquire debri. I may have someday grown a plant on my windshield. We'll never know.

Other news. I was saving the below video for vacation but I'll lop it now. Admittedly, it's 9 minutes long. But it's my work, my dogs, and way worth my time to make it. So watch my shit.

Simon went to doctor today for the eye issue and a two inch burr was extracted. Anyone want to shiver? I feel like the biggest asshole in the world for warm compressing and cleaning something that when pressure on, was digging into the under belly of his eye socket. Shiver yet? I didn't know, and he speaks Russian so there was no way to communicate this short of him peeling away with a glare of "knock that the fuck off!!!" which he did, but since I don't speak that language I presumed it meant MORE!

Hell, I thought he was just being a stubborn Russian, the foxtail wasn't popping out of the socket, shit that would make things all identifiable and easy. Oh, weed in the eye? (PS Mr. Morgan I fucking told you so) let's just snap that on out.

No dice. We had to pay someone over a hundred bucks to tell us our dog is living in a jungle too big for him, and his eyeballs are magnets to everything resulting in a vet bill. That's fine. He is now spunky and back to himself, which I would be too if I had an alien removed from my head. Don't forget, Simon's entire skull is about 5 inches in diameter...... a two inch no-thank-you under an eyelid is a fucked up tenant not paying rent.

Below is my dog journal for the year. It's hard for us (ME more) to leave them on any vacation. I am inclined to leave a kidney before my dogs, it sucks. Watch the video and those little faces who could otherwise be dead if not for the right timing. Iknow the song I picked for Leedie will annoy most, but I DID see her face in a crowded place.... and she was slotted to be put down the next day, I was encouraged to not take her and I wouldn't move, I couldn't leave that day almost 11 years ago without her. Rescue pets please please please!!!! More new shit soon.



-DM

Thank you, come again.

I actually almost made it all the way to work before I saw THIS:
Attached to my windshield. No it's not a jellyfish.

I mentioned this to Moon upon arrival and she gagged away mentioning it appeared "moist" Nice touch. Moist it might have been a while back as it's nasty dregs have dried to my fucking glass in streaks of spillage.

Between my car being shot at and now being the receptacle for perverts, I'm not sure if I should be proud of the metro's popularity or tell it to stop attracting the wrong type of friends.

My residence is private. That nasty pouch of filth didn't come in with the wind. Someone walked onto my property and flopped that onto my car.

And I got to drive around with it all day, waving to people "Yep... hi there.... sure is.... it's a condom. They sure go sticky in the sun huh?"

As I waited to get pulled over - and I shit you not I made a joke at work before I left saying that smelling like yesterdays hangover with a nut-sack gliding on the front window like a ribbon wouldn't be the best of scenarios "Oh no officer, that's a stray, it's not mine."

I passed 4 patrol cars on the way home, each of which I nodded warmly as if to say"It's a rubber. Everything is fine then boom... rubber on the car. Whatcha gonna do. "

While we were all disgusted, eneryone got their digi cams to look and preserve it. So really who is worse, the degenerate who keeps the metro fan club alive or my friends?

Honestly, I draw the line on things like that. I tried to poke it off with a stick, it's melded. I have never done a harder rain dance than today. You foul, disgusting mother fuckers. Shame isn't even good enough for you.
Ugly face for you.

-DM

Simon Saturday

"Simon's eye is fucked up."
"How so."
"Look at him..."

Five minute contemplation.

"What's the problem with it?"
"Are you looking at the same fucking dog that I am?"
"It's swollen yeah."
"Yeah, like swollen shut. Should we take him in?"


Five more minutes of severly aggrevating contemplation.

"It's that god damned four foot tall weed canvas we call a backyard. It needs to be mowed like now."

/key grabbing.
--

Mr. Morgan is currently at walmart getting mowing supplies and I have locked the dogs in for the interim. Looking at Weeman all fucked up has made me very nervous. I washed his eye with a warm cloth and cut all hair away from it (he looks stupid but that is not a crucial factor at the moment) and as I cleaned it, I can't say WHAT was popping out, but it was very red and very angry. How he is wagging his tail I do not know. If my eye did that shit - and once it did, but slightly differently, I had no wag in my tail. The photo above is not exactly how he looks, it DOES open, but is extremely annoyed and very blinky.

Between Delilah drinking a bowl of water a day and Simon's eye issues..... my weekend is not starting off on the waggy-est of ways. We are watching and will take him in promptly if this doesn't clear up soon or if it gets worse. Suffice to say I'm frustrated because I've been bitching about those weeds for months, knowing he plows through them with his eyes wide open and asking to get fucked up because he is stupid. It's our job to make his obstacles fewer and we suck. I can't run a mower or a weed wacker. I've tried, all attempts were a disaster and could have ended in a visit to emerg.

I suppose that's all. I am simply pacing the house today and staring at the dogs and wondering how I could remotely go on vacation with both of my kids potentially in a health situation that I need to be present for. Everyone knows someone or has HAD a trip that when back you get the bad news or one thing or another. I would lose my shit. I'm losing it now and both are in my sight. Hope you all are having a less OCD weekend.

-DM