Blue Light Special, isle 6!

Right so, I shop ebay.  With clickity-coupon fingers and manicured bargain nails, I am indeed one of those people who will toil to save a buck any time I can.  Every now and then comes a glitch in advertising, an underestimation of demand or simple oversight.


It's finding a mistake in your favor on a receipt, getting more than one of the same coupon that forgot to say "limit one per visit," and happenstance of a too tired customer service rep. to add an additional item to your order and re-calculate the entire tab. 


The frugal know this as The Golden Gimme.

With effort, a person can strong arm or pout/be loud/embarrass themselves into getting a Golden Gimme, but that is not the true nature or soul colors of the GG. Nay, they are meant to call into your lap unexpectedly.

There is only one thing to trump the Golden Gimme.  It's a bastard to come across and usually to happens to a person around you, leaving you with a dry lipped whimper of "Whens' gonna be my time god?  Whens it gon' be?"

So ebaying I was.  Ebaying for shoes no less, something even those who thrive living on the cheap don't normally do.   I've worn bowling shoes, I was not afraid of sandals and really wanted a specific type since the last ten pair of cheap summer flops have not been replaced since the days of Kylee's teething and chewing grandeur.  


I saw these:

 

Pretty much what I was looking for in a black sandal.  Those are my feet prints, as the item was listed in bayspeak as EUC, which means Excellent Used Condition - i.e. damn good shit, worn/tried on once but no box no tag sort of thing.  Calling something EUC and lying is a big no-no and the thrifty will talk shit in nasty little discount circles, running your name into the mud.  It's not worth the risk.

 They arrived, looking angry.

Hm.  But ok, I don't always have an excuse for why I look the way I do either.  It was a good deal and inexpensive enough that if they were gross it would be an easy loss.

I won them for $5.55 plus $3.33 in shipping.  Someones' keyboard must be sticky.  Here is the listing:

Now, remember the angry packaging?  The menacing tape leftover from a hostage situation?  I was still thinking about that when I readied to slice into the wrapping and stopped, frozen.  Holy fucking shit..... it was a Golden Gimme Gobble.


"In my very own house!" I began shrieking and hopping.  Mr. Morgan came into the room expecting me to holding one of those giant award checks, and to an extent I felt like I was.


Do ya see it?  Do ya do ya?

Oooooooh that former shoe owner had good reason to be pissed and wrap them with venom!  Clunky-sandal-postage-be-thy-name and by the laws of The Golden Gimme Gobble she not only landed no baycash, but cost her an additional $0.60 cents to sell them to me.  Not including the ebay cost to sell, and the additional fees for photos, instant sales etc. - that shit adds up fast.

The fabled Gobble.  Turning the tables for one time only, not just giving something of value away, but inadvertently paying to do it.

That is so. fucking. fantastic.  And no giving me a hard time for thinking so.  My idiot ass constantly does something that ends with "well, it serves ya right." so don't think I wasn't deserving of that GGG.  I'm forever being given that waving finger of shame reminding me that I do things half thought in advance.

The shoes really are heavy though, she should have known, or someone should have told her so,  and lastly, it serves her right.

- DM